


watch the world chasing to find us

by Spikedluv



Series: we've never been the same [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cameo by Lucky, Cameo by OFC Kathleen Barnes, Cameo by OFC Rebecca Barns, Cameo by OFC Taylor, Cameo by OFC Winifred Barnes, Implied Tony/Pepper/Bruce, M/M, Mention of Darcy/OFC, Mention of giant spiders, Minor crossover: Agents of SHIELD, Minor crossover: Hawkeye, Minor crossover: Thor, Modern Bucky Barnes, mention of PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-10 06:06:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14731367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spikedluv/pseuds/Spikedluv
Summary: Steve Rogers uses his fame to help the Brooklyn Animal Shelter with their ‘cat adoption event’ and meets Bucky Barnes, who is working the PetSmart booth.  For the first time since he was rescued from the ice, Steve finds himself looking forward to the future.





	1. Kittens & Chance Encounters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [comedicdrama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/comedicdrama/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Kitten Smitten](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/384021) by Comedicdrama. 



> Written for [CapReverseBB on Tumblr](https://capreversebb.tumblr.com/). Title taken from David Cook’s ‘Fade Into Me.’
> 
> My deepest gratitude and heartfelt thanks these people who helped me get this fic done and make it better: Silentflux for cheerleading me to the finish line. Your comments were inspiring. Mific for first impressions on the first bit of the story. I tried to keep your comments in mind as I finished and edited the story. *crosses fingers* Anoyo for beta duties. I really appreciate you taking the time to look this over even though Word was being a bitca. All remaining mistakes are mine because I didn’t heed all of their very good advice and I added more words after my beta saw the presumably finished product. Thank you all so, so much!
> 
> So many thanks to Comedicdrama who created the artwork that inspired this story. (Once again I used a proxy who helped me to get one of my first choices on the first attempt, so thanks so much to Arania.) I was thrilled to get this piece of art because who doesn’t like the image of kittens crawling all over ~~Chris Evans~~ Steve Rogers?!! You should check out his [art post](https://comedicdrama.tumblr.com/post/174224802529) and give him lots of love.
> 
> Warning for mention of PTSD. And giant spiders.
> 
> Posted: May 24, 2018
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/R4gZMhI)  
>   
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve attends the Brooklyn Animal Shelter's 'Cat Adoption Event' and has a chance encounter that'll change how he feels about living in the 21st century.

Steve arrived at Prospect Park early enough that nothing was open to the public yet. He walked the paths anyway, reacquainting himself with the park and trying to not think about all the changes. Steve passed the empty picnic house and baseball fields, then cut across the park to the silent carousel and closed zoo before heading back to the Grand Army Plaza entrance. When he reached the area on Long Meadow where the Brooklyn Animal Shelter’s Cat Adoption Event would be taking place two people were unloading tables and chairs from a white panel truck. Steve jogged over and helped them set up the canopies that would provide shade for the animals.

Kari Johnson, Steve’s contact at the shelter, showed up moments later with the cats. Steve helped unload carriers from a second truck and move them over to the canopies. He tried to help soothe the cats that had been ruffled by the trip while Kari and Jackie, one of the assistants, filled water dishes.

When Steve turned around one of the tables had been covered with a plastic cloth and piled with stacks of shelter pamphlets, information on shots and spay/neuter clinics, and adoption forms. A second table had been set up with a 50-50 raffle and a third with baked goods for a bake sale, both to benefit the shelter. Poster-sized photos of Steve laughing while half a dozen kittens crawled all over him hung off either end of the canopies. Steve was glad that the text advertising the adoption event, with date and place, took up a lot of room on the poster.

A few months ago Steve had done an interview slash photo spread where they released half a dozen puppies and told him to have fun. It had been difficult to forget that his every move was being recorded, but the puppies soon worked their magic and Steve had been surprised when they sent in a handler to round up the puppies. The magazine leaked stills and clips of the photoshoot and dog adoptions went through the roof.

Soon after that, the Brooklyn Animal Shelter had contacted Steve to see if he’d be willing to do for cats ‘in need of adoption’ as he’d inadvertently done for dogs. Steve had visited the shelter, and once he’d seen how many cats were in need of ‘forever homes’ he’d immediately agreed. The photoshoot had been set up quickly and held right there in the shelter. Steve had sat in front of cages and in the play area and let kittens crawl all over him. Not that it was a hardship, because the kittens were adorable.

The shelter had posted teaser photos on their Facebook page until the entire photoshoot was up, which had drawn people who wouldn’t normally have visited the page and gave them a lot of hits and ‘shares’, which was apparently important. Cat adoptions did go up, but Kari thought they could do better. She’d gotten Steve’s permission to use the photos to advertize an actual ‘Adoption Event’ and coordinated it with other shelters throughout the city. Steve had heard that there were even ‘sister’ events taking place across the country, but only Kari had been able to promise an ‘appearance by Steve Rogers aka Captain America’.

It was still a few minutes until the event opened officially and Steve decided to check out some of the other booths that were being set up. There was a face-painting station, a food truck (where Steve paused to get a cup of coffee), a booth where an elderly woman was selling cat toys made using catnip she’d grown herself and one where a young man was selling knitted cat sweaters and offering to take special orders. There was a table covered with comics and trading cards (probably taking advantage of Steve’s attendance and which Steve made a note to avoid) and one that held several faux terra cotta container gardens that reminded Steve that he should get some plants for his apartment.

Lastly, there was a PetSmart booth that offered free ‘Adoption Packages’ with proof of adoption, as well as coupons and free samples. “This is a good idea,” Steve said as he poked at the Adoption Package displayed on the table. A one-use bag of kitty litter, enough food for a couple of days, a tiny mouse toy, a collar, and even more coupons, all wrapped in a plastic litter box.

“We at PetSmart like to support the efforts of the local animal shelters,” came a teasingly officious reply.

Steve looked across the table at the man who was still crouched down, stacking the give-away packages under the table within easy reach. All Steve could see was dark brown hair and laughing blue eyes, but it was enough to cause a flutter in his stomach.

“Your country appreciates your service,” Steve said dryly before he could censor himself, earning a laugh that tickled at the base of his spine.

The man straightened and held out his right hand. “Bucky.”

“Steve.” Steve dragged his gaze away from the dark blue zippered hoodie that brought out the color in Bucky’s stormy blue eyes and grasped his hand.

That earned him another smile. “Yeah, I know. I’ve had to look at those posters in the store for weeks now.”

“Hardship, was it?”

Pink blossomed on Bucky’s cheeks. “Yeah,” he said, “hardship, lets go with that.”

The back of Steve’s neck heated. A lot of people looked at him like he was nothing but the suit, and he’d been propositioned a million times (not even counting the times Tony had jokingly – or not-so-jokingly, given where Bruce had ended up – invited him into his and Pepper’s bed), but this was the first time Steve didn’t feel uncomfortable having someone flirt with him.

Just then Darcy ran over. “Hey, Star Spangled Man With a Plan!” she called.

Steve realized he still held Bucky’s hand. He gave Bucky a sheepish look and released it before turning to Darcy. “Darcy, what are you doing here? Also, please don’t call me that.”

“Are you kidding?” Darcy said. “A front row seat watching you hold teeny, tiny kittens in your hands? It’s going to be adorable! Why would I want to miss that?” Darcy glanced at Bucky. “Am I right?”

“You are not wrong,” Bucky said gravely.

Steve rolled his eyes. Bucky’s soft laugh brushed against his skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

Darcy gave Bucky an appraising look before telling Steve, “People are starting to line up. Kari was hoping you’d come back over.”

“Alright,” Steve said. He turned to Bucky with a surprising amount of regret. “Well, duty calls. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, sure,” Bucky said. “I’ll be here all day.”

Steve smiled and tapped the table with his fingers in goodbye. He couldn’t resist glancing back over his shoulder as he followed Darcy back over to the shelter’s booth. Bucky was smacking himself in the head and talking to himself. He caught Steve’s eye and dropped his hand, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

Steve’s grin lasted until Darcy noticed and cackled.

~*~

At first Steve merely stood near the shelter’s table so people could see him. Kari noticed his discomfort and gave him a handful of pamphlets to hand out so he had something to do. Steve didn’t need to remain in one place for that, so he wandered through the crowd and thanked people for showing up as he slipped a pamphlet into their hands.

Steve paused to watch a little boy get a butterfly painted on his face, then wandered over to the PetSmart booth. Bucky had removed the sweatshirt to reveal a blue PetSmart shirt with short sleeves that showed off one muscular arm and one metal. Steve did a double-take because he hadn’t noticed the metal earlier, then realized that Bucky had never let him see his left hand.

Steve waited until Bucky handed over an Adoption Package and a list of cat essentials to a man and his daughter who had adopted one of the cats before stepping closer. He held out a pamphlet and Bucky gave him an amused look. “Thanks for coming today,” Steve said, heat building in his stomach.

Bucky reached out and took the pamphlet with his metal hand. “My pleasure,” he said with a smirk.

Steve’s mind went blank. “Nice arm,” he blurted out.

Bucky’s smirk faded.

Steve gave himself a mental kick. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have . . .”

“It’s fine, Steve,” Bucky said. “Can I call you Steve?”

“It is my name,” Steve said, and watched the tips of Bucky’s ears turn pink. He hadn’t meant to do that, but he couldn’t deny that he liked it.

Bucky’s eyebrows went up. “I could call you Mr. Rogers, sass master.”

“Please don’t do that,” Steve said. “Tony teases me about being an old man enough as it is.”

“Does he give you cardigans?”

“So many cardigans,” Steve said. “Some of them are actually pretty comfortable. Snuggly.”

Bucky laughed, which was much better than the look that had been on his face before. “As I was saying, it’s fine. Not like I was hiding it.” Bucky paused. “It was an accident.”

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Steve said, “but I’m sorry. You seem to be doing well.” Steve gestured towards the metal arm.

Bucky raised his hand and moved the fingers. “You were right; it is pretty cool.” Bucky lowered his voice. “On another topic. Hypothetically speaking. Say someone stole one of those posters. What would it take to get your autograph on it? Asking for a friend.”

“I got that!” Steve said, which made Bucky smile. Steve lowered his voice as Bucky had done. “I don’t know. Tony would have a stroke if I gave it away for free, though that might be a good reason to do it.” A couple with a cat stepped up to the table. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, “but think about it. Hypothetically.”

“I will. Hypothetically.”

~*~

“Who’s this?” Bucky said when Steve showed up at his booth again.

“This is Dorian,” Steve said, stroking his hand gently along the back of the cat he’d been carrying around.

“He looks kind of grumpy,” Bucky said. “Probably that name.”

Dorian was mostly grey with a white sock on his right front paw, a splash of white on his chest, and on the tip of his tail as if it had been dipped into a can of paint.

“I think someone was being cute,” Steve said.

“They don’t have to live with it,” Bucky said, causing Steve to laugh. “Okay, give me the spiel.”

“What spiel?”

Bucky waved his hand around. “The one you’ve been giving everyone else.”

Heat rose on Steve’s cheeks. “This is Dorian,” Steve said. “He’s about five years old. His owner had to give him up when she went into a nursing home. He looks grumpy, but he’s very laid back. He’s good with kids and other animals, and he just wants a forever family to love.”

“Jesus.” Bucky fanned himself with a pile of coupons. “How did anyone resist that?”

Steve’s cheeks got even hotter. “Three people said they were going to fill out an adoption application for him.”

“No kidding,” Bucky said. “First thing they should do is change his name.”

“Hmm,” Steve said.

“What would you name him?”

“Phillips,” Steve said.

Bucky laughed. “Your old CO? Bet he’d love that.”

“Deep inside,” Steve said. “Very deep inside.”

Steve carried Bucky’s laughter with him back to the shelter’s booth where he relinquished Dorian to Kari. As soon as Steve’s hands were free Darcy grabbed Steve’s arm and dragged him away.

“I want to get my face painted.

~*~

Bucky did a double-take when he saw the rainbow painted on Steve’s face. “Nice,” he said.

“Thanks.” Steve shifted on his feet. “I thought of a price.”

“For what? Oh!” Bucky’s eyes went round. “Really?”

Steve nodded. “I’m terrible at selfies. Could you take a picture of this?” Steve pointed to his cheek. (Steve shushed the voice that reminded him once again that he could’ve asked Darcy.)

“Sure!” Bucky said, holding out his hand for Steve’s phone.

Steve posed awkwardly while Bucky took a moment to adjust the screen before taking the photo. He looked at the screen to make sure the photo wasn’t blurry before handing the phone back to Steve.

Steve glanced down at his phone. “Do you have the poster here?”

“Wait, *that* was your price?” Bucky said.

Steve ignored the flush and nodded.

“You’re too easy, Rogers. I feel like I’m getting the better end of the deal here,” Bucky said. “For that I should’ve taken a hundred photos.”

“Maybe one more?” Steve said.

Bucky held out his hand for the phone. “Okay.”

Instead of releasing the phone immediately Steve took a step closer. “Come here.”

Steve would’ve been more embarrassed about his flushed face if Bucky didn’t look a little pink, too. Bucky moved closer and Steve put his arm around Bucky’s waist. Bucky set up the camera and put his metal arm across Steve’s shoulders.

Steve watched Bucky’s face as he held the phone out at arm’s length and concentrated on getting them both in the shot. He smiled when Bucky said, “Okay, smile at the camera, Mr. Rogers,” but he couldn’t break his gaze away from the line of Bucky’s jaw, the shape of his cheekbone.

“You didn’t look at the camera,” Bucky complained. His voice sounded a little thick.

Steve forced himself to look away from the pleasing shape of Bucky’s face and at the phone screen. Beside his left ear Bucky’s metal fingers made the peace sign. Steve’s face split into a grin when he saw it. Bucky gave Steve an answering grin and snapped the photo.

Steve reluctantly stepped away from Bucky and took back his phone. People had started to gather at the booth. “I’ll come back later to sign that poster.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Bucky said.

Steve was breathless as he made his way back to the shelter’s booth. It was nothing like how he used to feel when his asthma acted up.

Steve stayed at the shelter’s booth for the rest of the afternoon, drawing people over by cuddling one cat after another until it felt like he’d handled all of them. He helped pack up when the event was over and glanced across the grass to see Bucky doing the same.

The next time Steve looked over, the PetSmart booth had been completely torn down and there was no sign of Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Prospect Park Map (prospectpark.org)](https://www.prospectpark.org/media/filer_public/fc/df/fcdf91e9-eb0b-4663-a163-541f79c51c88/prospect_park_map.pdf)


	2. Lost & Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has help finding Bucky.

Steve posted to Twitter both the photo Bucky had taken of his face painted with the rainbow and one Darcy had taken of him holding Dorian, along with the message _thank you for supporting a worthy cause @brooklynanimalshelter #catadoptionevent_

Steve stared at the photos of him and Bucky on his phone. He gave himself a mental slap for not getting Bucky’s number when they were taking the photos. Steve didn’t think he’d read the situation wrong (the pink hue to Bucky’s cheeks supported that), but Bucky leaving without talking to him again indicated otherwise. He had two choices: forget about Bucky, or see if he was right.

Steve Googled PetSmart. There were two located in Brooklyn; on Atlantic Avenue and Avenue D. They were open at 9am every day. Steve could call both stores and ask for Bucky, but he didn’t even know Bucky’s last name. He could call Kari to find out which store had manned the booth, but he didn’t want to have to explain why he was asking, and he was a terrible liar.

The Atlantic Avenue location was closer to Prospect Park, though not by much. Not that it meant anything. He didn’t even know if Bucky would be working tomorrow. He’d look foolish showing up at both stores every day until he just happened to run into Bucky. Steve shoved a hand through his hair.

Steve followed a notification to the shelter’s Facebook page. They’d posted a couple of photos during the event, but someone had just added two dozen photos to the Adoption Event’s album. Some were of Steve, but most were of people who’d just adopted a cat, holding the newest member of their family. Steve shared the post.

Steve was contemplating a dinner of the chicken breasts he’d thawed in the refrigerator when JARVIS interrupted to tell him that Bruce had set up a taco bar if he’d like to join the others in the communal kitchen. The first time they’d had tacos, Steve had been surprised to discover that they could be made with beef, chicken, pork, and even fish. Steve had enjoyed having options. It only took him a moment to determine that tacos with Bruce, Tony, and whoever else showed up would be better than moping all night.

“Tell Bruce I’ll be right there, and thank you,” Steve said.

“Of course, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS said.

Steve washed up and changed his shirt before leaving his apartment. Before the serum the cat dander would’ve caused his allergies to kick in and trigger an asthma attack. There were some things Steve missed about 1940s Brooklyn, but that wasn’t one of them.

Steve heard Darcy before he saw her and Jane (who was working with Bruce and Tony to see if she could find a way to open a portal or doorway to Asgard). Pepper was talking softly to Bruce, ignoring Tony as he moved around the kitchen in one of his manic moods, pouring soda and whiskey. The only ones missing were Thor, of course, and Clint and Natasha, who were off on some secret mission on something called ‘the Bus’.

Darcy told everyone about the Adoption Event, teasing Steve about how ‘adorbs’ he looked holding the cats, thankfully leaving out any mention of Bucky. When everyone was gathering beverages and making popcorn and settling in to watch a movie, Darcy slid up next to Steve. She extended her hand. Frowning, Steve took it.

Darcy shook Steve’s hand and pulled away, leaving a business card in Steve’s palm. Steve turned it over and glanced at the text. _PetSmart, 238 Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn NY 11201_

“There was a stack of them on the table,” Darcy said in a loud whisper.

“What are you two talking about?” Tony said.

“Nothing,” Steve and Darcy said, which only made Tony look more annoyed.

“Thank you,” Steve said to Darcy. He slipped the card into his pocket, where it burned a hole the rest of the night.

~*~

The next day after brunch in the common area (where Tony gave a slide-show of every photo of Steve that JARVIS had been able to find on the internet from yesterday’s Adoption Event) Steve headed for Brooklyn. He packed his sketchbook, several pencils, and his phone charger into the leather messenger bag Pepper had given him last year on his first birthday out of the ice. If anyone asked, Steve was just going out to walk around and do some drawing.

Steve took the subway into Brooklyn and got off at the Bergen St. Station. He took his time walking the few blocks to Atlantic Avenue because he didn’t want to appear rushed, and from there it was a short walk to PetSmart on his right. Steve had visited Brooklyn back when he’d first woken up, but nothing had looked the same and it had made him feel even more alone and out of time. Now that Steve was aware of them, the differences didn’t seem quite so jarring.

Steve paused when he reached PetSmart, then followed a couple with a pot-bellied pig on a leash into the store. Steve accepted the door one of the men held for him and tried not to stare at their pet. Once inside Steve checked out the employees at the customer service center and the registers in the front – none of them were Bucky.

Steve wandered the aisles, pretending to be interested in bags of dog food and aquariums until a woman with a purple streak in her black hair and a blue PetSmart shirt asked if she could help him find anything. Steve hesitated before glancing at her name tag and saying, “Hi, Taylor. Is Bucky working today?”

Taylor’s face scrunched up. “I’m sorry, he’s not. Can I help you find anything?”

Steve reminded himself that he’d commanded men during the war and that he wasn’t sixteen years old anymore. He drew himself up and said, “No, thank you, I’ll try another day.”

Steve left PetSmart and turned back the way he’d come. Instead of heading back to Bergen Street, he turned right, which would take him into Brooklyn Heights. Steve stopped at Gregorys Coffee for a cup of coffee, a cranberry walnut scone, and a crunchy power bite. He took the coffee and bagged goodies to the Cadman Plaza Park. Steve found a spot on an empty bench and people watched while he ate and sipped at the coffee.

When he finished eating, Steve pulled out his sketchbook. There were a group of kids throwing a frisbee in front of the memorial. Steve began to sketch out the scene, replacing unfamiliar faces with those of people he’d lost. His mom sat on the grass talking to Phillips as Peggy, Dugan, Gabe, Dernier, Falsworth, and Morita played frisbee. Steve studied the finished drawing that included everyone but himself – even in this Steve kept himself apart from those he’d left behind.

Steve slipped the sketchbook back into his bag and continued walking.

~*~

Bucky wasn’t at PetSmart on Monday, either. But Taylor was, which was something Steve should’ve anticipated.

“Sorry,” Taylor said. “But I might’ve checked Bucky’s schedule yesterday – I didn’t think about it until after you left – and he’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Okay, thank you . . .”

“Hey, Steve!” Darcy said. “Fancy running into you here.”

Steve sighed. “Darcy, did you follow me?”

“What?” Darcy said. “No, of course not. I got here early and waited for you.”

Before Steve could formulate a response to tell her how invasive that was, Darcy gave Taylor a once over and said, “Well, hello there. I’m Darcy.”

Darcy shoved her hand out and Taylor, laughing, took it. “Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Taylor,” Darcy said. “I don’t suppose you’re single and into girls.”

“Yes,” Taylor said. “To both. Though technically I’m pan, so . . .”

Steve took a step back, and then another.

“You’re still working so I should probably stop undressing you with my eyes,” Darcy said, which earned a wry, “Probably,” from Taylor.

“And offer to buy you dinner later, or coffee, or gum.”

Steve escaped while Darcy and Taylor were exchanging numbers and headed for the Brooklyn Botanical Garden with a stop at Lincoln Station for a cup of coffee and a rotisserie chicken sandwich.

~*~

Taylor smiled and waved when she saw Steve on Tuesday. She hurried up to Steve and caught his arm. “I’m so glad you came back today! I don’t work tomorrow and I’m feeling oddly invested in making sure you and Bucky reunite.”

“You make us sound like long lost . . . friends,” Steve said. “We just met on Saturday.”

“At the Adoption Event where you were too stupid to get each other’s numbers, yes, I know,” Taylor said. “Darcy told me all about it at dinner last night.”

Taylor grinned when Steve groaned. “She’s just trying to help,” Taylor assured Steve, which didn’t actually make him feel any better.

Taylor led Steve through the store until they reached an aisle where Bucky, his back to Steve, was helping a harried mother and exuberant child choose a guinea pig habitat. Their cart was already filled with bedding, food, and treats. Warmth filled Steve’s chest as he listened to Bucky explain the benefits of one habitat over another.

Taylor stepped up to the group and said, “Hi!” She sounded so perky that Steve had to bite back a smile. “You’re getting a guinea pig? That’s awesome!”

Taylor gave Bucky a less perky smile. “You have a visitor, so if these lovely people don’t mind, I’d be happy to assist them.”

“Why is there purple in your hair?” the young boy asked.

Taylor said, “Because I like purple,” but Bucky had turned and caught sight of Steve and everything narrowed down to the expression of surprise and happiness on Bucky’s face.

“Hi, Bucky,” Steve said.

“Hi.” Bucky shook himself and took Steve’s arm. He led Steve into the reptile area, which was empty of customers. (Unsurprising in Steve’s estimation.) “I’m . . . What are you doing here? How’d you find me?”

“I am Captain America,” Steve said, as if he hadn’t freaked out over locating Bucky.

Bucky grinned. “Yes, you are. I’m glad you found me, in case that wasn’t clear, I just . . .”

“Me, too.” Steve grinned back at Bucky until he realized they’d been standing there for some time just staring at each other. “We didn’t get to say goodbye Saturday,” Steve said, and pushed on. “I was hoping to get your phone number.”

Bucky ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked up at Steve through his lashes. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I mean, unless you don’t . . .”

“I can’t imagine a world where that would be true.” Bucky held out his hand and waggled his fingers. Steve dropped his phone into Bucky’s outstretched palm. His gaze moved from the expression of concentration on Bucky’s face to the fingers that tapped the screen, keying his number into Steve’s contacts. Butterflies took flight in Steve’s stomach and his breath caught.

“You okay?” Bucky said as he returned the phone.

“Yeah, of course,” Steve said, hoping he looked and sounded cooler than he felt.

“Text me so I have your number,” Bucky said.

Steve hesitated. “Now?”

“Unless you’re gonna play it cool and wait.”

Steve opened Bucky’s contact and tapped on the message icon. “This is my third day in a row dropping in here to find you; I think it’s too late for playing it cool.”

“Third day, really?”

Steve gave a little laugh as he hit send. “Yeah. I mean, I did promise to sign your poster.”

“Oh no,” Bucky said before getting distracted by adding Steve to his contacts. “You don’t have to do that.”

“A deal is a deal,” Steve said.

Bucky slipped the phone back into his pocket. “Is that the only reason you wanted to find me?” He tried to sound casual, but Steve could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“No,” Steve said. “I was hoping we could get coffee, or do whatever it is you whippersnappers do for dates these days.”

Bucky smiled. “A date?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you do for dates in the olden days?”

“Dancing,” Steve said. “Movies. Coney Island.”

“We still do that stuff,” Bucky said. “Plus dinner, walks along the beach, museums.”

Steve couldn’t stop smiling. “Okay, well, would you like to do some of that stuff with me?”

“Do bears shit in the woods?” Bucky said. At Steve’s expression, Bucky said, “That’s yes, by the way.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, well, when are you free?”

“I have Sunday off,” Bucky said. “But I’m not averse to doing something some night after work as long as we don’t go crazy and stay out too late.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Is tonight too early?”

Bucky screwed his face up. “It wouldn’t be, but I already have plans. With my family,” he added.

Steve didn’t know if Bucky clarified because Steve was transparent, but he was oddly relieved that Bucky wasn’t seeing someone else for only having met Bucky four days ago. “How about tomorrow, then?”

“Tomorrow works,” Bucky said.

“Great.”

Steve didn’t realize that he’d just stood there smiling at Bucky like an idiot until Bucky said, “Do you have any ideas for what you’d like to do?”

Steve groaned. “I could think of something, probably.”

Bucky chuckled. “Why don’t I plan our first date?”

Steve’s stomach swooped at the notion of going on a second and third date with Bucky. “Okay, um, I could come to you. I mean, my schedule’s more flexible if that would make things easier. Regarding work.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, thankfully not mentioning Steve’s awkwardness. “I’ll text you the address.”

“Yes, alright,” Steve said. “I should . . . probably let you get back to work.”

“Probably,” Bucky said, but he didn’t sound any more eager for Steve to go than Steve was. “Unless you want me to help you find something for your pet.”

Steve ignored Bucky’s smirk. “I don’t have a pet. But Clint does! I could get him a . . . toy . . . or something?”

“You could,” Bucky said. “And you absolutely should. Come on.” Bucky clapped his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Let’s go look at dog toys.”

Steve ducked his head and followed Bucky to the aisle that was filled with dog toys from plush animals with rustling paper and squeakers inside, to knotted tug ropes, to something called a Kong that you could put treats inside and keep your pet busy for hours. Steve chose a Kong Pawzzle shaped like a donut and a small bag of healthy treats.

Taylor laughed when she saw Steve checking out, but she gave him a thumbs up and he couldn’t hide a happy smile. Steve stopped at Commons Café for a cup of iced coffee. He texted Clint to see if he was at his apartment or the Tower and continued walking. If Clint wasn’t in Bed-Stuy, Steve would still get a good walk in before catching the subway back to Manhattan.

Clint got back to Steve a few minutes later; he was at his apartment until training that afternoon. When Clint opened the door to Steve’s knock, Steve shoved the PetSmart bag at him.

“Thank you?” Clint said.

“It’s for Lucky.”

“Come on in before he goes nuts,” Clint said, indicating Lucky, who was jumping around excitedly behind Clint.

Steve stepped inside so Clint could shut the door. He set his messenger bag against the wall and went to his knees to pet Lucky. Clint laughed and Steve looked up to see him checking out the items in the bag. Lucky took the opportunity to lick Steve’s face.

Clint wrestled the Pawzzler out of its packaging and tore open the bag of treats. Clint showed Lucky that there were treats inside the Pawzzler and that they could fall out if handled just right. A moment later Lucky was batting the Pawzzler around the floor and shaking it in his powerful jaw.

Clint grinned. “That’ll keep him busy for a while. So what’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” Steve said.

“You were just wandering around Brooklyn and decided to buy Lucky a present?”

“Yes?”

“Are you sure? PetSmart,” Clint said thoughtfully. “Isn’t that where the cutie from the Adoption Event works?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Darcy.”

“She’s very . . . enthusiastic,” Clint said. “But she cares.”

“Yes,” Steve said, then, “I have a date.”

Clint grinned and clapped Steve on the shoulder. “That’s great. How about a congratulatory pizza?”

Steve laughed when Lucky’s head came up at Clint’s mention of pizza. “Yeah, that would be great.”

Steve sat on the couch and rubbed Lucky’s ears while Clint called in the order. Clint joined him on the couch after he ended the call.

“So, is this guy as cute as Darcy said he was?”

“Well, I don’t know what Darcy said,” Steve said, “but probably not. He’s cuter.”

Clint laughed. “Got any pictures of him?” Clint crowed at whatever expression came over Steve’s face then. “You do!” Clint made grabby hands. “Come on, let me see.”

Steve thought about lying, but he wasn’t very good at it, and a part of him wanted to show off Bucky. He opened his album to the photo of him and Bucky (the one with the peace sign, not the one of Steve staring besottedly at him) and showed it to Clint.

“He is good looking,” Clint agreed. “Where are you going on your date?”

Steve explained that Bucky was setting up the date. Clint didn’t tease Steve about his nerves or inexperience. They finished the pizza when it came (with Lucky’s help), and headed to the Tower together for training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Map of Brooklyn: Street and subway map of Brooklyn, NYC](https://www.timeout.com/newyork/things-to-do/map-of-brooklyn-street-and-subway-map-of-brooklyn-nyc) (timeout.com)
> 
> 2\. [Cadman Plaza Park](https://www.nycgovparks.org/parks/cadman-plaza-park-and-brooklyn-war-memorial) (nycgovparks.org)
> 
> 3\. [Lincoln Station: Food * Coffee * Beer](http://www.stationfoods.com/)
> 
> 4\. [Brooklyn Botanical Garden](https://www.bbg.org/)
> 
> 5\. [Commons Café](http://thecommonsbrooklyn.org/)


	3. Hot Dogs & Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky go on their first date.

After training and a dinner and movie night (because, why not, since they were already there for training, according to Tony), Steve laid in bed and thought of Bucky. He held his phone in his hand and debated texting the other man. Steve couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t sound sappy. Finally he sent the photo he’d taken of Lucky enjoying his new toy.

Steve stared at the screen as if he could make Bucky open the text and reply. He sighed and connected the phone to the charger and turned out the light.

There was a message from Bucky when Steve woke up to go for his usual run. Steve smiled before he even opened the text, then grinned like an infatuated school boy when he read the _im glad he likes it ;)_

Steve shook his head that such a simple text could make him feel so giddy. He was still feeling punchy when he returned to the Tower from his run. That feeling remained through a shower and breakfast, and intensified when Bucky sent him a text asking if meeting at the Grand Army Plaza Station at six o’clock would be okay. Steve replied immediately that it was and walked around in a cloud until he was called into a briefing.

A Chitauri weapon had been used in Iowa. SHIELD had arrested Mark Bartlett, who’d attempted to kill his ex-wife’s new boyfriend and ended up disintegrating half of the bar where he worked. They’d confiscated the weapon and apprehended the middleman, Jebediah Whales.

Whales was mainly a low-level drug dealer who’d thought it was a good idea to expand to weapons after the Battle of New York. He’d cracked like an egg under Maria Hill’s questioning. Phil Coulson, who’d been appointed as the Avenger’s liaison after he’d gotten out of the hospital, attended the briefing from the Bus. From the tone of his voice as he reported on Hill’s questioning of Whales, it had been a treat to watch.

Taking down the weapons trafficker would normally be a SHIELD op, but because of the alien tech and their experience with it, the Avengers were being assembled. Coulson’s team (because liaising with the Avengers was only a part-time gig) would be waiting for them on-site. No one said anything, but taking down Bartlett and Whales was evidently the mission that Clint and Natasha had been on over the weekend.

Steve didn’t hesitate to suit up, but he couldn’t help thinking that of course they’d get called in when he had a date. Steve sent a text to Bucky before meeting the others at the Quinjet. He hoped to be back in New York in time for their date, but he couldn’t guess how long the op would take. Steve turned off his phone after he received Bucky’s return text. _:( ill wait 2 hear from u_

Steve studied the layout of the warehouse outside Reno where the Chitauri weapons were being stored. Coulson’s team had already done recon to make sure they had the right place and were waiting for the Avengers to arrive. They’d offer back-up, but the Avengers would be going in first. Natasha would make a rooftop entrance while Steve distracted them with a frontal attack. Clint would be positioned on the roof of a nearby building, and Tony would keep an eye on both Natasha and Steve, lending aid where he was most needed. Coulson and Hill would be directing the op via the command center on the Bus and SHIELD HQ in New York, respectively, via satellite and body cameras.

The op went more smoothly than anticipated because, while some of his men were mercenary goons and ex-military, only a couple were of a caliber to give any of the Avengers or Coulson’s team any trouble. Also, Harrison Pinchon had thankfully not armed his own men with the Chitauri weapons – they were too valuable to use.

Five men were arrested, two needing urgent medical care. Pinchon’s computer system was taken into evidence and all the weapons, including a couple crates of Chitauri tech, confiscated. Steve watched as crates were loaded onto trucks and waited for Natasha to download information from the computer so Hill and someone named Skye could begin working on it right away.

“What’s going to happen with these weapons, Agent Coulson?” Steve said.

“The Chitauri weapons?” Coulson said. “They’re going to be locked away.”

“They should be destroyed,” Steve said, recalling the HYDRA weapons he’d discovered on the Helicarrier.

“And what would we do the next time aliens come calling?” Hill said over comms. “Not to mention the good we could do with power sources like these.”

“It’s not a perfect solution,” Coulson said.

Steve waited for more, but that was all Coulson said. Hill made a fair point, but Steve couldn’t shake the feeling of unease.

~*~

Steve filled out his report during the flight back to New York. Both Coulson and Hill were busy with the cleanup and computers, so he’d debrief the next day. Steve took a rushed shower and made it to the Grand Army Plaza Station by six. Bucky was waiting at Bailey Fountain, watching for him. Steve’s skin warmed as he closed the distance between them.

“Hey,” Steve said when he was close enough for Bucky to hear him without raising his voice.

“Hey, yourself,” Bucky said, smiling.

Steve stood there kind of stupidly, not knowing the proper greeting for a first date. Should they shake hands? Hug? Bucky took the matter out of Steve’s hands. He touched Steve’s arm and leaned in to give Steve a quick, soft kiss.

Steve’s lips tingled and he just kept himself from reaching up to touch them. “Hi,” he said.

Bucky grinned, then let his gaze run up and down Steve. It seemed more clinical than sexy, which was confirmed when Bucky said, “You’d tell me if you were gut shot, right?”

“I, Bucky, what?”

“As much as I’ve been looking forward to this date, if you should be in the infirmary . . .”

“I didn’t even receive a scratch,” Steve said. “I promise. The mission was pretty anti-climactic injury-wise. For us, anyway.”

“I’m happy to hear it,” Bucky said. “You up for a little walk?”

“Yes, sure.”

Bucky led them south, through the Plaza and into Prospect Park. Bucky’s cheeks pinked up when Steve glanced at him. “Sue me, I thought it was a nice symmetry to have our first date where we met.”

Steve nudged Bucky’s arm. “I like it.”

“Well, I hope you like hot dogs.”

“I love hot dogs,” Steve said with more feeling than the hot dog probably warranted. “I remember getting Nathan’s dogs at Coney Island.”

“These aren’t Nathan’s, but they’re pretty good,” Bucky said. “And this isn’t dinner,” he added. “I don’t want you to think I’m that cheap. Just a snack to tide us over.”

“Bucky, you don’t have to pay for my . . .”

“It’s a date,” Bucky said. “That I planned. I’m paying. You can pay when you plan our next date.”

Steve glanced over to see Bucky watching him out of the corner of his eye. “Okay,” Steve said, as blown away by the notion that Bucky wanted a second date as by the fact that he might’ve been worried that Steve wouldn’t.

Bucky smiled and stared at the sidewalk. “Okay, then.”

They walked along West Drive, past the 3rd Street playground and the Picnic House, and stopped in the Long Meadow section of the park just before they reached the Bandshell. There was a short line at the Hog Dog Cart and the scent while they waited made Steve’s mouth water. When they reached the vendor, Bucky ordered one dog with meat sauce and Steve got two with the works. Bucky also got them each a bottle of water and paid.

Bucky led them past a little league baseball game to a field where a co-ed softball game had garnered a respectable number of spectators. Bucky found them seats on the bleachers and leaned into Steve. “This okay?”

“Yes,” Steve said. One thing he missed about the past was sneaking into baseball games, but there wasn’t a team at Ebbets Field anymore. There wasn’t even a ballpark; there were apartment buildings there, now. The only thing that remained was the name. “This is great.”

They ate their hot dogs in silence until Bucky pointed out the woman at bat. She wore a red and gray jersey with the name BARNES printed on the back. “My sister, Becca.”

Which explained Bucky’s interest in this particular game. Becca got to first and Bucky stood up to cheer. “Woot! Alright, Becca!”

“Becca and Bucky?” Steve said when Bucky sat back down.

Bucky grinned. “Both nicknames. She’s Rebecca, and my first name is actually James.”

Steve finished chewing the last bite of hot dog. “How do you get Bucky from James?”

“You don’t,” Bucky said. Bucky cheered when the next at bat resulted in an out that moved Becca to second base. He leaned into Steve as if he was going to impart a secret. “Middle name Buchanan.”

Which explained Bucky, but not the fact that he’d been named after an American president from the 1800s. “James Buchanan? Are your parents old-fashioned?”

“Nah, just Irish.” Bucky grinned at Steve, who couldn’t help grinning back.

They watched the game for an hour, until Bucky checked the time and told Steve they should get going. Bucky rubbed his butt when they stood beside the bleachers. “It feels like I’ve been sitting there for a week.”

Steve chuckled. “I’m glad it wasn’t just me. How do they do that?”

“I don’t know, but it’s the sad truth of bleachers everywhere.”

“Are you trying to keep me from meeting your sister?” Steve said.

“Not at all,” Bucky said, not even bothering to try to sound believable. “It’s just a happy coincidence that we need to go to dinner before the game ends and she can embarrass me in front of you.”

Steve was happy to let Bucky lead them through the park along West Drive, around a traffic circle and down a block to 16th Street where they stopped at The Double Windsor. Light shone out onto the street from the tall windows, and three steps led up to the door. Inside the walls were exposed brick and the menu was written on a large chalk board on the back wall. Strings of colored lights were strung along the walls, the light fixtures looked like old-fashioned lanterns, and there was an antique cash register behind the bar.

They found seats and ordered wings and burgers. Since Steve wasn’t familiar with any of the beers they served, he let Bucky order them both something called Interboro Approved, a stout made right there in Brooklyn.

“It’s not very fancy for a first date,” Bucky apologized over their stout.

“I don’t need fancy,” Steve said. He didn’t tell Bucky that after growing up poor and spending a couple of years fighting a war, this was actually pretty fancy. “Besides, I like it in here. The atmosphere.”

“I’m glad,” Bucky said.

Over wings and burgers Bucky told Steve about growing up with three sisters. Steve started to tell Bucky that it was just him and his mom, then stopped. “Is it boring if I tell you things you already know?” he said, unable to keep the bitterness of having his entire life be available to the public in history books and made into movies.

“You’re assuming an awful lot thinking that I’ve read all about you,” Bucky said, which made Steve feel two inches tall. “But even if I had, do you really want Wikipedia to be the gauge of what I know about you?”

Steve was torn between smiling and banging his head on the table. “No, sorry, I . . .”

“Forget about it,” Bucky said, “and tell me about your ma.”

Steve smiled down at his plate, then turned the smile onto Bucky. Bucky raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘well?’. Steve laughed and felt a little lighter for having met someone who wanted to get to know him instead of thinking they already knew everything there was to know.

After dinner and another beer they retraced their path through the park. Steve kept his hands in his pockets so he wasn’t tempted to reach out and take Bucky’s. Outside the park Bucky steered Steve to the right instead of heading past The Soldiers and Sailors Memorial on the way to the subway station.

“Where are we going?” Steve said, curious but not really caring, happy their date wasn’t ending quite yet.

“One more stop,” Bucky said. “Dessert,” he said a few minutes later when they stood outside Blue Marble Ice Cream.

They both ordered two-scoop cones – mexican chocolate and sea salt caramel for Steve, midnight mint cookie and cookies and cream for Bucky. “What can I say, I like the cookies,” Bucky said while they watched the ice cream being dipped.

There was seating inside, but they took their cones outside and sat on a bench in front of the shop. It was nice, just sitting there with Bucky, not feeling the need to fill the silence.

“Well,” Bucky finally said. “I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Steve said regretfully, though he consoled himself that Bucky sounded just as reluctant to end the evening as he felt.

Bucky insisted on walking Steve to the subway station. Steve was glad he braved up and took Bucky’s hand in his for the smile Bucky gave him. Bucky was the brave one when they stood at the top of the stairs, unable to say goodbye. Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand and leaned in to press their lips together. Steve brought his other hand up to cradle Bucky’s face and deepened the kiss. Bucky tasted like hops and mint and chocolate.

Steve drew back before he could let himself search more deeply for the taste of Bucky that lay beneath those surface flavors. “I should probably let you go,” Steve said, even though that was the last thing he wanted to do. “You’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, not moving.

“Are we still on for Sunday?” Steve said.

“Yeah! Unless . . .”

“I’ll plan something,” Steve said. There were three days between now and Sunday. How hard could it be?

“Okay,” Bucky said. “Well, ‘bye.”

“Yeah, goodbye.”

Bucky laughed when neither of them moved. “Go,” he said, pushing Steve towards the stairs. “You’re too hard to walk away from.”

“Same,” Steve said. He pecked the corner of Bucky’s mouth and grudgingly released Bucky’s hand. Steve started down the stairs. When he looked back, Bucky was still watching him. Steve raised his hand and waited for Bucky to return the wave before he turned and continued down into the subway.

While he waited for the train Steve waffled over whether it was too soon to text Bucky. The train came and Steve got on. He sat and took out his phone, stared at it for three stops. Finally he typed _I had a good time. Thank you._ and sent it before he could change his mind.

Seconds later Bucky sent back _me too_ and _y is sun so far away???_

Steve smiled at the screen for a long time. He sent back a crying emoji and got a bunch of exclamation points in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Grand Army Plaza](https://www.nycgovparks.org/parks/grand-army-plaza) (nycgovparks.org)
> 
> 2\. [Prospect Park Map (prospectpark.org) 3\. ](https://www.prospectpark.org/media/filer_public/fc/df/fcdf91e9-eb0b-4663-a163-541f79c51c88/prospect_park_map.pdf)[Ebbets Field Apartments](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/ebbets-field-apartments) (atlasobscura.com)
> 
> 4\. [The Double Windsor](https://www.doublewindsorbklyn.com/)
> 
> 5\. [Blue Marble Ice Cream](http://www.bluemarbleicecream.com/)


	4. Sea Lions & Smorgasburg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Steve's turn to plan their second date.

Time passed as slow as molasses in February over the next three days. Except for each time Steve recalled that he was responsible for making plans for their date on Sunday, when he realized that another hour had passed and he only had sixty or thirty-five or twenty hours left to think of something that would impress Bucky.

Steve went for his usual run Thursday morning and ran into Tony in the kitchen after his shower. Tony stared at the coffee maker as if he could make it brew faster with just the power of his mind.

“Don’t you have a coffee maker in the lab?” Steve said. Based on the state of Tony’s hair and clothes, he hadn’t made it to bed yet.

“Dear, sweet Pepper switched out my coffee with decaf,” Tony said.

When Steve pulled his head out of the refrigerator, arms loaded with everything he needed, Tony had turned his stare onto him. Tony opened his mouth to say something and Steve could see his brain redirect when he saw the food in Steve’s arms.

“What are you making?”

“Omelet. You want one?”

“Please,” Tony said.

Steve chopped vegetables and Tony returned to contemplating the coffee maker. When Steve reached into the cupboard for a bowl in which to mix the eggs, Tony was back to staring at Steve. This time over the top of the mug he held between his hands.

“Something on your mind?” Steve said.

“You weren’t here last night.”

“I was not.” Steve mixed the eggs while the pan heated. He could almost feel the air being sucked out of the room as Tony waited for Steve to break and spill. Steve bit back a grin when Tony caved.

“We had a movie night.”

“You have movie nights all the time,” Steve pointed out.

Tony shrugged. “Better late than never.”

That gave Steve pause. He often forgot that Howard wasn’t to Tony the same thing he’d been to Steve. Steve took pity on Tony. “I had a date.”

There was silence in response to that announcement. Steve looked over his shoulder to make sure Tony hadn’t left the kitchen. Tony was frozen in place, staring at Steve as if he’d never seen him before. Steve considered asking Tony if he was alright, but that would probably lead to Tony saying something insulting, so Steve concentrated on the eggs.

Tony eventually recovered on his own. “A date? A real date? Like, with a real person?”

Steve frowned. “What other kind of date is there?”

“People don’t always use the word date to mean ‘went out on a date’,” Tony said. “Sometimes people make a date with their bathtub, some bubble bath and a glass of wine. Other people make dates with Netflix.” Tony stopped his explanation and shook the question off like a dog shaking off water. “How come I didn’t know about this?”

“I’m sorry, did I need to ask your permission?”

“No,” Tony said. “Mr. Snarky Pants. But this is big.”

“And private.”

“Pshaw!” Tony said.

~*~

Back in his apartment after breakfast Steve downloaded an album off his to-do list and listened to it while he filled up a page with sketches from their date last night – Bucky sitting on the bleachers, smiling at Steve over dinner, eating an ice cream cone . . . He trained with Natasha and Clint, then searched out Bruce in the lab to touch base.

Tony ordered more food than a dozen super soldiers could eat and invited everyone for dinner. As soon as they were all there, he demanded to know, “Am I the only one who didn’t know that Grandpa had a date last night?”

Steve felt his cheeks heat with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance, but he didn’t react. Clint, giving no indication that Steve had told him about Bucky, held out his fist. Steve bumped it with his own.

Darcy squealed. “I want details!”

“No details,” Steve said.

Darcy gave Steve a look that would scare him if he didn’t already know Natasha. “I’ll get them out of you.”

Speaking of Natasha; Steve glanced at her. He hadn’t spoken to her about Bucky, but he didn’t even consider that she hadn’t known because Natasha seemed to know everything. She merely stared back at him.

Pepper said, “Congratulations, Steve.”

“Are you jealous?” Bruce asked Tony, turning everyone’s attention to Tony and neatly taking the heat off of Steve. Steve owed him big time.

“Yes, Tony, are you jealous?” Pepper said.

Tony looked between them like a dear caught in the headlights. “What? No! What are you . . . ?”

“Leave Steve alone, Tony,” Pepper said gently, yet firmly.

“But . . . He went on a date and he didn’t tell m–, anyone. Isn’t that a violation of the Bro Code, or something? No one else sees that? JARVIS, help me out here.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but Captain Rogers refused to sign the roommate agreement so there’s no legal recourse,” JARVIS said.

Steve snorted. “I got that reference,” he said when he realized that everyone was staring at him.

“What reference?” Jane said, and Darcy was distracted explaining it to her.

~*~

After dinner, Tony announced another movie night since Steve had missed the one last night. It was Darcy’s turn to pick the movie. After putting her head together with Pepper, Jane, and Natasha, Darcy chose ‘Steel Magnolias’. Of the four, only Natasha looked horrified at the choice. The others appeared gleeful. Steve didn’t feel bad because neither Tony, Clint, or Bruce knew what they were getting into, either.

“That’s horrible,” Tony sniffled when the credits rolled.

Steve had to agree.

“I know!” Darcy said and blew her nose. “Isn’t it great?”

Before he fell asleep that night Steve texted Bucky. _They made me watch Steel Magnolias._

Bucky immediately texted back, _whyyyy?!!_ with a crying emoji.

 _Because they’re awful._ Steve replied.

_dont let them talk you into beaches_

Steve Googled it, then replied, _Thanks for the heads up._ He wrote the movie in his notebook and tagged it with NO.

~*~

Steve asked Bucky to meet him at Bailey Fountain again. He arrived early because the other option was pacing his apartment until it was time to leave. Steve slipped the small notebook (in which he’d been doodling Chibi versions of the other Avengers) and pencil back into his jacket pocket and stood when he saw Bucky approaching.

“Hi,” Steve said. He hated that he was still uncertain how to greet Bucky, but Bucky just stepped right up to him, touched his arm and gave him a kiss.

“Hey, you,” Bucky said, making Steve feel warm all over.

“Hi,” Steve said, then, “I already said that.”

Bucky grinned at him. “Flustered is a good look on you.”

“You’re just saying that to get me flustered again,” Steve said.

“Can you blame me?”

“Yes,” Steve said archly, which only made Bucky’s grin widen.

“Alright, I’ll give you a break,” Bucky said. “What’s the plan for today?”

“I hope you don’t mind; eventually we’ll get out of Prospect Park, but there’s so much to see here.”

Bucky took Steve’s hand and squeezed. “It’s fine, Steve. Where do we start?”

“The zoo?” Steve said.

“Awesome!” Bucky kept hold of Steve’s hand as he began walking through the Plaza towards the Park. They meandered along Flatbush Avenue, past the rose garden.

Steve glanced beyond to the Vale of Cashmere. “I can’t believe they let that fall to ruin. It used to be so beautiful. The bowl was formed by a glacier. There were reflecting pools and fountains with lilies . . .” Steve broke off and ducked his head. “Sorry, sometimes I get carried away.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Bucky said. “I never knew that. It’s always looked like this as far as I remember. The only cool thing I know about it is that it used to be a spot for ‘illicit activities’, if you get my drift.” Bucky waggled his eyebrows at Steve just in case he hadn’t.

“Are you trying to shock me?” Steve said.

“Nope,” Bucky said. “Get you flustered again, maybe.”

“You’ll have to do better than that. I grew up in Brooklyn Heights just a couple blocks from the St. George Hotel. And the Brooklyn Navy Yard wasn’t too far away.”

Bucky feigned shock. “Something else Wikipedia left out.”

Steve laughed. “Just for that I’m going to tell you about the zoo.”

Bucky leaned into Steve. “Please tell me about the zoo, Steve,” he said in a feigned breathless voice that nevertheless curled around the base of Steve’s spine.

Steve did his best to ignore it and said, “There used to be a menagerie here in the late 1800s. Deer, rabbits, turkeys, that sort of thing. Also a buffalo and some bears. It opened formally as a zoo in 1935. July third. It felt like a birthday present.” Steve smiled at the memory.

“I remember lions and elephants and bears. Apparently they’ve since learned how inhumane those conditions were for the larger animals and moved them to bigger zoos that can better care for them.”

“That’s good,” Bucky said. “So what are we going to see today?”

Steve glanced at Bucky to see if he was being teased, but the question appeared sincere. “Haven’t you ever been?”

“Years ago,” Bucky said. “I don’t really remember it.”

“Well, the sea lions. And the red pandas look really cute.”

The Sea Lion Court was right in front of them when they came in through the Flatbush Entrance. Steve double-checked the times on the board for the Sea Lion Training Sessions while Bucky snagged a brochure.

Steve steered them to the right. Bucky opened the brochure and studied the map inside. “We’re headed for the Hall of Animals, unless you want to stop at the Discovery Center.”

Bucky was teasing him, but Steve didn’t mind. In fact, he kinda liked it. “Maybe later, after the sea lions,” he said.

Steve reached for Bucky’s hand again. Bucky hesitated a moment before curling his fingers around Steve’s hand. “Is this alright?” Steve indicated their joined hands.

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “It’s just . . .” He glanced away. “Do you want to hold the other one?”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Steve said. “Should I not have . . . ?”

“No, it’s fine,” Bucky said. “I just . . . isn’t it weird?”

Steve huffed. “Is it weird that I was frozen for seventy years?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

Steve gave Bucky a surprised look and Bucky laughed.

“Asshole,” Steve said. “And yeah, as long as I’m not hurting you, I want to hold your robot hand.”

“It’s not a robot hand,” Bucky said, but he didn’t say anything else about it.

Hand-in-hand they strolled through the Aviaries and round the duck pond, into the Barn and from there to the Hall of Animals. The red-faced parrot finch was gorgeous; Steve’s fingers itched to reproduce the colors. The fennec fox was adorable. The path led them through Animal Lifestyles and another Aviary before Steve got to see a red panda and a river otter along the Discovery Trail.

It was almost time for the Sea Lion Training Session and Steve wanted to make sure they got a seat. Bucky didn’t tease him, even after he stopped at the Sea Lion Shop & Café and bought a t-shirt.

“Are you hungry?” Steve said.

“I could eat,” Bucky said. “What did you have in mind?”

“A picnic.”

They walked the grounds of the Lefferts Historical House on their way to East Drive, which they followed down to the Lincoln Road entrance where Smorgasburg was set up. Steve hesitated when he saw the sheer amount of space one hundred vendors and thousands of people took up.

“How do you choose?”

“Do you have a preference?” Bucky said.

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Why don’t we just wander through and see what jumps out at you. Or you can do eenie meenie miny mo.”

Steve gave Bucky a look, but Bucky just smiled. Steve took a deep breath and started walking. Bucky stayed right by his side. Everything smelled and looked good when he got a glimpse of other people walking away with sandwiches wrapped in napkins, plates piled high with nachos, or take-out containers full of everything from soup to pasta. A sign a few stalls away caught Steve’s eye and he pointed it out to Bucky.

“Iranian?”

“Have you had it before?” Steve asked.

“No.” Bucky pulled Steve in that direction. “But let’s check it out.”

They looked over the menu while they waited in line, and watched the servers fill take-out containers.

“It looks, and smells, really good,” Bucky said.

Steve agreed. When it was his turn, he ordered a stew with walnuts and chicken cooked in pomegranate paste and served over rice, and added a chicken and a beef kabob and a slice of baklava.

“He’s a growing boy,” Bucky said when the server’s eyes went round as he filled two take-out containers for Steve.

Bucky ordered two chicken and one veggie kabob with rice and a slice of the baklava. They both got a bottle of the Snapple iced tea. Steve paid and balanced the stacked takeout containers in one hand, the bottles in his other. They wormed their way out of the crowd to find a bare spot on the grass to sit. Bucky produced the napkins and plastic forks he’d grabbed off the counter and Steve traded him a Snapple.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, after which Bucky said, “How do you like it?”

“It’s good!” Steve said. One thing he really liked about the future was the ready availability of a variety of spices and seasoning. “What about you?”

Bucky licked sauce off his fingers. “I agree.”

Steve ducked his head and shoved a forkful of stew and rice into his mouth. When he finally licked the last bit of honey off his fingers and groaned in appreciation of good food and a pleasantly full stomach, Bucky was leaning back on his hands and watching Steve.

“Um,” Steve said.

Bucky raised his gaze from Steve’s lips to his eyes. Bucky’s cheeks were pink and Steve’s heated in response.

“What did you have planned for next?”

All Steve could think about right then was what Bucky would look like out of his clothes. “What?”

Bucky smirked. “Steven Grant Rogers. Are you thinking naughty thoughts?”

Steve met Bucky’s gaze defiantly. “Maybe.”

Bucky looked a little bit surprised by Steve’s forthright reply. He recovered quickly. “Well, you better stop looking at me like that unless you’d like an audience for whatever happens next.”

Steve didn’t, but Bucky didn’t know that. He raised his eyebrows in challenge. Bucky laughed joyously.

“Someone needs to edit your Wiki page.”

“I don’t think Wiki needs to know this,” Steve said archly.

“You’re absolutely right.” Bucky got onto his knees and gave Steve a kiss. “It’ll be our secret.”

Steve smiled as Bucky gathered up their trash and gave Steve a hand up. Bucky dumped his handful into the nearest can and slipped his hand back into Steve’s. They continued along East Drive to the Lake and rented a paddle boat. They paddled around the lake for an hour, only coming in because Bucky mentioned that he hadn’t brought sunscreen.

“Sorry,” Steve said. “I didn’t think about that. I don’t burn anymore. Or, if I do, I heal too fast to notice it.” Steve shook his head. “It’s strange.”

“What is?”

“I used to have to worry about that sort of thing. Breathing. My heart. But now I just *do* things without thinking about whether my asthma will act up, or whether my heart will fail. I kinda got used to this body and forget to be thankful for it.”

Bucky nudged Steve with his shoulder. “I’ll be thankful for it for both of us.”

Steve glared at Bucky, and the heat on his cheeks felt a little bit like sunburn.

They returned the paddle boat and headed towards East Drive. Steve tugged on Bucky’s hand, which had somehow found its way into his again. “Are you tired?”

“Are you trying to get me into bed?”

Steve sputtered. “No, Bucky, wha–?” He stopped when he saw the smirk on Bucky’s face. Steve narrowed his eyes, but said, “I wondered if you were ready to end our date, or whether you wanted to maybe walk along the nature trails a little bit.”

“I’m not in the least bit ready to end our date yet,” Bucky said.

Steve tried not to let his smile take up all of his face as he angled them away from East Drive. They passed through Cleft Ridge Span that took them under Wellhouse Drive and hooked up with a trail that took them behind the Boathouse and along Bidden Water. They crossed the bridge and took a moment to admire the falls before continuing north.

Passing along the pedestrian path under the Nethermead Arch took them into a completely different world. The open field filled with soccer and frisbee players was replaced by a forest. The path narrowed as they stepped into the shade of the trees. They came to a Y and veered right, continuing along the water until they reached Rock Arch Bridge. They heard Ambergill Falls before they saw it.

For a moment it felt like they were the only people left in the world. The trees blocked the din of traffic, and there were no other hikers or park staff nearby. The water crashing down onto the rocks was the only sound.

“It’s beautiful here,” Steve said, his voice low so it didn’t disturb the sense of peace.

“It really is,” Bucky said. He turned towards Steve, telegraphing his intention.

Steve met Bucky for a soft kiss. Steve drew back and Bucky chased his lips. Bucky brought his free hand up to touch the side of Steve’s face. He jerked and broke the kiss when the metal of his hand touched Steve’s skin. Steve caught Bucky’s wrist as he tried to withdraw his hand and placed the metal back against the side of his face.

“Steve,” Bucky said, “are you sure . . . ?”

Steve was sure. Bucky’s metal hand was just as much a part of him now, and Steve wasn’t afraid to be touched by it. “I’m sure I want you to kiss me again.”

Bucky watched Steve’s face as he slid his hand back further, metal fingers combing through Steve’s hair until he cupped the back of Steve’s head in his palm. When he saw what he was looking for, whatever that was, Bucky kissed Steve again.

Steve was so lost in the kiss that he didn’t hear the approach of a small group of hikers.

“Sorry,” Bucky said, not sounding the slightest bit sorry. “He makes me forget where we are.”

Steve blushed and dragged Bucky away from the falls. Bucky used Steve’s distraction to pull him in the direction of the stairs that led to one of the few rustic structures remaining in the park.

“Bucky, wha–?” The words were cut off by Bucky pressing Steve back against one of the logs columns and kissing him.

“I wasn’t done,” Bucky said, giving Steve a moment to breathe before kissing him again.

Steve brought his arms up around Bucky’s back and pulled him close as they deepened the kiss. Steve felt Bucky hard against him and realized that he was also hard. He thrust against Bucky once before freezing. Steve broke the kiss, closed his eyes, and concentrated on breathing. He swallowed hard. “This is going to get awkward pretty soon.”

“Let me,” Bucky said, his lips closer to Steve’s ear than they’d been before. Bucky placed his hand against the front of Steve’s slacks. He stroked Steve through the material before reaching for the button. “Are we alone?”

Steve listened for the group they’d met at the bridge and heard nothing. “Yes.”

When he tuned back in to what Bucky was doing, his pants were open. Steve caught Bucky when he started to go to his knees. “Bucky, what are you . . . ?” Steve’s cheeks flamed when he realized what Bucky had been about to do.

“Don’t you want . . . ?” Bucky said.

“Yes!” Steve said with more emphasis than he’d intended. “But later. I want to touch you, too.”

“Yeah, okay.” Bucky gave Steve a quick, hard kiss and opened his own waistband.

Steve slid a hand into Bucky’s underwear before he finished pulling down the zipper. Bucky made a wounded sound that Steve wanted to hear again. Steve stroked Bucky loosely, just getting a feel for him. He had to put more concentration into it when Bucky touched him. Steve pressed the side of his face against Bucky’s and kept his other arm around him so his knees didn’t buckle. The sound of Bucky’s breathing grew harsher and Steve knew that Bucky was close.

“Are you gonna come for me, Buck?”

“Fuck, yes,” Bucky groaned. He went taut against Steve and his hand stopped moving on Steve. Bucky grunted softly in Steve’s ear as his cock pulsed in Steve’s hand.

Bucky rested against Steve for a moment, then stepped back. Steve felt bereft when Bucky withdrew his hand from Steve’s cock and wiped it on his shirt. Steve’s own hand slipped out of Bucky’s pants. Steve looked at the come he’d caught in it and wondered what to do with it.

“Dump as much as you can over the side, then wipe it off on my shirt,” Bucky said.

“What? No, Bucky, I’m not going to use your shirt,” Steve said as he opened his hand over the railing.

“You got a handkerchief on you?” Bucky said. “Besides, I already did.” Bucky took Steve’s hand and used his shirt to wipe it as clean as he could. “We’ll find a restroom and wash up later.” Bucky released Steve’s hand and went to his knees.

“Bucky,” Steve said, breath catching in his throat.

Bucky smirked up at Steve. “Best of both worlds,” he said, and took Steve into his mouth.

Steve had to bite the side of his hand so he didn’t cry out. Bucky’s mouth felt so good. Steve let his other hand rest on Bucky’s shoulder. “Bucky,” Steve said, “oh, fuck, Bucky.”

Steve felt his fingers clench and forced them to loosen so he didn’t hurt Bucky. His balls tightened and heat curled around the base of his spine. “I’m close,” Steve warned, “I’m close.”

Bucky sucked harder and Steve reached behind him for the railing so he could squeezed as hard as he needed to as he spilled his release into Bucky’s mouth. Steve watched as Bucky took every spurt onto his tongue and swallowed. Bucky held Steve in his mouth and milked his cock until Steve was too sensitive.

Bucky looked up at Steve. “I hope that was alright.”

“That was amazing.” Steve pulled Bucky to his feet and kissed him, this time tasting himself on Bucky’s tongue.

“As much as I hate to leave this spot,” Bucky said, “we should probably find that restroom.”

“What about your shirt?”

“I’ll take it off until I can rinse it out.”

Steve picked up the shopping bag he’d dropped. “You can wear this.”

“Steve,” Bucky said. “Are you going to let me wear your new sea lion t-shirt?”

“Not if you’re going to be an ass about it,” Steve said.

Bucky pulled the soiled shirt off over his head. Steve got his first glimpse of Bucky’s bare chest. He reached out and laid his hand over Bucky’s pectoral. “I should’ve touched you more.”

“Next time,” Bucky said. His cheeks pinked up at that comment where they hadn’t at what they’d just done.

Steve handed Bucky the clean t-shirt and stuffed the other into the bag. Bucky smoothed down the shirt and held out his arms in a ‘how do I look?’ gesture. Steve hoped his expression didn’t give away how much he enjoyed the sight of Bucky in his t-shirt. Bucky took the bag from Steve and slipped his hand into Steve’s in its place. They held hands as they retraced their steps down the stairs and past the bridge, and continued on their way until they finally emerged from the Ravine at Esdale Bridge.

They used the restroom near the Picnic House, then headed to the Plaza entrance. “This was a good day,” Steve said when the Eagle Columns came into view.

“It was,” Bucky agreed. He didn’t sound like he was teasing Steve about what they’d just done, but Steve’s cheeks flushed anyway.

“Is it something you’d like to do again?” Steve said.

Bucky pulled Steve to a stop so they could look at each other. “Spend another good day with you? Yes, absolutely.”

Steve ducked his head and smiled. “Okay. When, um, when’s your next day off?”

Bucky chuckled. “Tomorrow, actually,” he said. “And as much as I’d like to spend it with you, I really should do some laundry. Maybe buy some groceries so I have something to take for lunch next week.”

“Yes, right, of course,” Steve said, “I didn’t mean . . .”

Bucky tugged on Steve’s hand. “We could do something during the week again, if that works for you.”

“Yes,” Steve said. “That would, that would work for me.”

“Wednesday again?”

“Wednesday would be great.”

They resumed their slow walk to the Plaza and the end of their date.

“It doesn’t always have to be dinner,” Steve said. “Like I said, my schedule is flexible. We could do breakfast or lunch if that’s something you can fit into your schedule.” Steve stopped speaking when he realized Bucky was staring at him. “I’m just going to shut up now.”

“No, don’t,” Bucky said. “Tell me more about your flexibility.”

Steve shook his head and bit back a grin. “I hate you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Grand Army Plaza](https://www.nycgovparks.org/parks/grand-army-plaza) (nycgovparks.org)
> 
> 2\. [Prospect Park Map (prospectpark.org) 3\. ](https://www.prospectpark.org/media/filer_public/fc/df/fcdf91e9-eb0b-4663-a163-541f79c51c88/prospect_park_map.pdf)[Vale of Cashmere, Brooklyn](https://hiddenwatersblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/21/vale-of-cashmere-brooklyn/) & [In the Vale of Cashmere: Prospect Park’s Hidden World of Gay Cruising](https://hyperallergic.com/246424/in-the-vale-of-cashmere-prospect-parks-hidden-world-of-gay-cruising/)
> 
> 4\. [Steve Rogers' 1930s/1940s neighbourhood](https://thingswithwings.dreamwidth.org/213805.html)
> 
> 5\. [Prospect Park Zoo](https://prospectparkzoo.com/) & [History of the Prospect Park Zoo](https://www.nycgovparks.org/about/history/zoos/prospect-park) | [Steve’s Sea Lion T-Shirt](https://www.redbubble.com/people/thejollymarten/works/27971117-sea-lion?body_color=white&p=t-shirt&print_location=front&size=medium&style=mens&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=g.pla+notset&country_code=US&gclid=Cj0KCQjwibDXBRCyARIsAFHp4frTb5M2MyCPHkT2gOSs7KjPIr7oMr8ywQA1lzZXzWc7bDn5odThtCgaAhKREALw_wcB) (or what I imagine it to be)
> 
> 6\. [Lefferts Historic House](https://www.prospectpark.org/visit-the-park/places-to-go/lefferts-historic-house/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw3InYBRCLARIsAG6bfMRNz874TyAF9DKHiLezbKTxTjgTSOy3LGonDd1Mim70cRb4han_wGQaAj7LEALw_wcB)
> 
> 7\. [Smorgasburg](https://www.smorgasburg.com/)
> 
> 8\. [Ravagh Persian Grill](https://ravaghrestaurants.com/index.html)
> 
> 9\. [Bridging Nature With New Technology: The Cleft Ridge Span of Prospect Park](https://www.brownstoner.com/history/prospect-park-brooklyn-cleft-ridge-span-bridge-olmsted-vaux/) & [The Bridges of Prospect Park](http://forgotten-ny.com/2001/08/the-bridges-of-prospect-park/) & [Prospect Park waterway, Brooklyn](https://hiddenwatersblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/20/prospectwater/) & [Discover the Prospect Park Ravine](https://slownaturefastcity.com/2016/05/23/prospect-park-ravine/)


	5. Coffee & Baseball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go out for coffee and take in a baseball game.

Bucky took Steve up on his offer to meet one morning before he started work, so Tuesday they met at Absolute Coffee near PetSmart. Steve had gotten there early and Bucky found him drawing larger versions of the Chibi Avengers he’d doodled in his notebook on Sunday.

“That is awesome,” Bucky said, looking over Steve’s shoulder. “The Avengers should let you handle their merchandising.”

“Thanks,” Steve said. “But no thanks. Tony drives me nuts enough as it is.” He set the sketchbook and pencil aside and stood to give Bucky a hug. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Bucky said. He held up the bag he carried. “I washed the shirt you let me borrow.”

Steve’s cheeks heated when he recalled why he’d lent Bucky the t-shirt. “Thanks,” he said, setting the bag on top of his sketch pad.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“Um, I got a coffee when I got here, but I waited on you to order anything else,” Steve said, changing the subject.

Bucky smiled but didn’t comment on having flustered Steve again. “That’s fine,” he said. “Do I want to know what you’re like before coffee?”

“I’m fine before coffee,” Steve said. “No matter what anyone says.”

Bucky grinned at Steve’s comment. His grin turned shy when Steve set his hand at Bucky’s back and guided him towards the pastry counter. Steve was tempted by the raspberry turnovers, but since this was going to be his breakfast (or breakfast-type snack), he ordered a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on an everything bagel. Bucky ordered coffee and a banana nut muffin.

“Don’t you want more than that?” Steve said. A muffin wouldn’t be enough for him with his enhanced metabolism.

“I don’t usually eat breakfast,” Bucky told Steve. “Mainly because I’m always running late. But I like coffee, and I wanted to see you, so . . .” Bucky shrugged.

“Oh, well,” Steve said. “I’m glad. I mean, I wanted to see you, too. Obviously.”

Bucky grinned and tried to pay, but Steve had already started a tab and the barista refused Bucky’s money. Steve smirked when Bucky glared at him.

Since Bucky had seen Steve’s sketchbook, he asked him about his art. Steve rhapsodized about his love of drawing and painting, and told Bucky that it had been one of the few ways he’d been able to make some money before the war.

“How’d you end up working for PetSmart?” Steve asked.

A crease appeared between Bucky’s eyes, then he deliberately smoothed it out. “It’s Plan D,” he said. “Plan A fell through and I didn’t have the spoons for Plan B or C at the time. It was only supposed to be temporary, but I’m good at it so, who knows, maybe I’ll make a career out of it.”

“I’m sorry about Plan A,” Steve said, “but Plan D is nothing to sneeze at as long as you enjoy it.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Do you enjoy what you’re doing?”

“Someone’s gotta do it,” Steve said. “And I can.”

“So that’s a no, then.”

“I like helping people,” Steve said, “and I like my friends, co-workers; I’m not entirely sure what they are. Most of the time, anyway.”

“It’s a start,” Bucky said. “You should find something to do that you enjoy, as, like, a hobby.”

“I’m trying,” Steve said, gazing at Bucky.

Bucky did a double-take. “Wow, did you just . . . I meant your art, or something like that.”

“I know. And I do draw. All the time.”

“But you don’t share it with anyone.”

“Well, no, not really.”

Bucky checked the time. “I’ve got to get going, but we’re not done with this.”

“Okay, Bucky,” Steve said placatingly.

Steve gave in and got a turnover and coffee refill to go. Bucky declined anything else and Steve closed out his tab.

Steve walked Bucky to PetSmart. “How do you feel about baseball?”

Bucky huffed a laugh at some joke Steve didn’t understand and shook his head, but said, “I feel okay about baseball. Why?”

Before they parted on Sunday they’d made plans to do something during the week and next Sunday, Bucky’s day off, just like they’d done the previous week. Since Bucky wanted to plan their Sunday outing, Steve was tasked with planning their weeknight date. He’d considered and discarded several ideas until he caught the weekend scores on ESPN while flipping through the channels and remembered that Tony had once offered him use of his season tickets if he ever wanted to attend a Mets game.

Steve had checked their schedule, and luckily they were playing an evening game at home on Wednesday. He’d gone directly to Pepper to ask if the tickets for that game were still available. Steve’s luck held, because they were. And as a bonus, Pepper was understanding and promised not to tell Tony that Steve had made use of the tickets until after the fact.

“The Mets are playing at home,” Steve said. “Tony has season tickets.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “Let’s go to a ball game. It’s been a while.”

They’d reached the store, so Bucky leaned in and gave Steve a kiss goodbye. As they pulled apart, Steve saw Taylor over Bucky’s shoulder. She smiled and gave him a thumbs up before entering the store. Bucky glanced over his shoulder and chuckled when he realized why Steve was blushing.

“See you tomorrow,” Bucky said.

“Yeah, see you.”

Steve watched Bucky enter the store. He closed his eyes and shook his head. People were looking at him out of the corner of their eyes and giving him a wide berth. Steve moved on.

~*~

Steve waited for Bucky at the 7 line with two cups of iced coffee from Oren’s Daily Roast. Bucky was arriving on the 5, so Steve searched the people coming from that direction. They hadn’t specified a time, but Bucky had said he’d come directly from work. Steve wanted to make sure he was there when Bucky arrived.

It hadn’t been until after training on Tuesday that Steve realized he’d gotten distracted and hadn’t talked to Bucky about riding to Citi Field together. He texted _Want to meet at Grand Central and ride the train to the game together tomorrow?_

There was no answer by the time Steve had gotten out of the shower, or after he had dinner with Darcy and Jane, on one of the rare occasions Darcy had been able to drag Jane out of the lab. (Darcy had brought up Bucky and Steve had threatened to ask about her date with Taylor. Jane had shaken her head and said, “She’d be only too happy to tell you.”)

Steve sat in front of the blank tv and thought about what Bucky had said about finding something to do that he enjoyed. Right now he was just filling his time between missions with running and training and movie nights and his to-do list. He needed a hobby or part-time job that was exciting and fulfilling. Maybe he could volunteer somewhere.

Steve was brought out of his reverie when his cell beeped with a message from Bucky. _just to chg trains?_

Steve frowned and sent back _Yes._ then _I’ll meet you at the 7 line with iced coffee._

A moment later Bucky sent _deal!_ with a smiley face emoji.

Steve stared at the text message conversation wondering what he was missing. The long wait for a reply, and then the strangeness of it when it did come. Steve had eventually shaken it off then, but now, waiting in the subway with people streaming past him in both directions, he wondered if Bucky was going to show.

As if Steve’s thoughts had conjured him up, Bucky was suddenly standing in front of him. “Hey. It’s a good thing you’re so tall and blond or I might have missed you.”

“Hi, Bucky,” Steve said, unable to keep the relief out of his voice. He leaned in for a kiss hello that Bucky returned, though he seemed a bit distracted.

“Is that for me?”

Bucky accepted the cup Steve handed over and took a deep sip. They moved closer to the tracks and waited for the next train to come through. Bucky jittered next to him and Steve wondered if he’d had too much caffeine already.

Steve put an arm around Bucky’s shoulders and leaned in so he could speak without having to yell. “Everything okay?”

Bucky leaned into Steve and gave him a tight smile. “Yeah, I’m just . . .”

The car came and Steve could read the relief in the set of Bucky’s shoulders. They got on the car and found a seat. Steve made sure that there were no women or elderly left standing before making himself comfortable in the seat beside Bucky. For the next few minutes Bucky tapped his fingers against the cup and bounced his leg, then suddenly he took a deep breath and calmed.

Once Bucky stopped being so fidgety, the thirty-six minute ride to the Willets Point Station was enjoyable. Steve told Bucky about a training snafu in which he’d missed stopping one of Clint’s practice arrows with the shield and had sported a bruise on his ass for about five minutes. Bucky told horror stories of retail service that nonetheless made Steve chuckle.

Bucky slipped his hand into Steve’s for the short walk from the station to the stadium and Steve forgot about Bucky’s strange behavior earlier. There was about forty-five minutes before the game started, but Steve was happy to spend them with Bucky. They got some food (Steve got Nathan’s hot dogs, Bucky went with melted raclette over a baguette-swaddled brat from Baked Cheese Haus, and they both got milk shakes from Shake Shack) and found their seats, which were located a couple rows above the Met’s dugout.

They watched the Phillies players warm up and Steve confided in Bucky that he hadn’t seen a game live since the Brooklyn Dodgers. Steve bought water for each of them, and later peanuts to share when the vendors came around. He stood and removed his hat for the National Anthem. Steve sat when the fireworks went off and only then noticed that the skin around Bucky’s eyes had gone tight and he was holding onto the arm rest with a white-knuckled grip.

Steve laid his hand over Bucky’s, not trying to dislodge it. He leaned in and spoke softly. “Hey, Bucky, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said through a clenched jaw. “I just . . . don’t like fireworks.”

“Oh my god, Bucky, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think.” Steve wondered if it had anything to do with the accident in which Bucky lost his arm. “Should we leave?”

Bucky shook his head. “No. I want to stay. I’m so sick of being afraid of doing things I used to enjoy.”

“Okay,” Steve agreed. “Let me know the moment you change your mind, okay?”

“I will,” Bucky said. “Thanks, Steve.”

“You’re welcome,” Steve said, praying that the Mets wouldn’t score a home run and already making plans to leave before the end of the game, especially if it looked like the Mets were going to win.

Steve was only able to start enjoying the game when the tension finally eased out of Bucky’s shoulders. Steve offered to buy more food but Bucky declined with a laugh.

“I don’t have your metabolism, Steve. I’m going to have to start going to the gym more as it is.”

“You look good, Bucky,” Steve said. He hadn’t meant it in any kind of sexual way, just a statement of fact, but Bucky’s skin pinked up. It was satisfying to see the shoe on the other foot, so Steve smirked at Bucky before returning his attention (the part that wasn’t still on Bucky) to the game.

The Mets were ahead by one run going into the ninth. “Wanna get out of here before the rush?” Steve said, trying for casual.

“Yes, lets,” Bucky said with more fervor than the suggestion warranted. Steve wondered if he’d been keeping track of the score, as well.

They passed Chomp Donut Co. on their way out, which Steve took as a sign that he should buy some mini-doughnuts dipped in salted caramel. 

Bucky groaned but took one when Steve offered the container. “You’re a menace,” Bucky said as he licked his fingers clean.

Steve thought Bucky was the menace. He shoved another mini-doughnut into his mouth so he wasn’t tempted to admit it to Bucky.

Outside the stadium Bucky turned in the direction of the Willets Park Station. Steve took his arm and steered him in the other direction.

“Steve, wha–?” The words froze on Bucky’s tongue when he saw the car waiting for them. “You . . . ?”

“I thought it might be nicer to have someone drive us home than have to take the subway,” Steve said. “If that’s okay.”

“That’s very okay.” Bucky greeted the driver before sliding into the backseat of the Escalade and making room for Steve. Bucky waited for the vehicle to get moving before asking Steve if there was a privacy screen.

Before Steve could open his mouth to ask why they would need one, the privacy screen was being closed. Bucky made a sound of glee and slid into Steve’s space. He held Steve’s face between his hands and kissed him. Steve made a sound of surprise and pleasure and kissed the taste of caramel and brat and peanuts out of Bucky’s mouth.

The crackle of an intercom interrupted their make-out session and the driver spoke. “I’m sorry to interrupt, sirs, but I need the address.”

Bucky snorted against Steve’s lips and gave his address to the driver. As soon as the driver said, “Thank you,” and turned off the intercom, Bucky kissed Steve again. They were still kissing when the car pulled up to the curb outside the address Bucky had given the driver. Steve couldn’t remember a time when his lips had felt so swollen and raw. He licked them when Bucky slowly pulled away.

“Thank you, Steve,” Bucky said, their heads still close together. “I had a really good time.”

“Me, too,” Steve said. “I’m glad you could come. I’m sorry about the . . .”

Bucky placed a finger against Steve’s lips. “I want to remember the good things.”

“Okay,” Steve said, rendered speechless by the way Bucky made him feel.

The driver opened the door and Steve slid out so Bucky could exit. “Bucky . . .”

Bucky pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s lips. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Steve.” Bucky snatched another mini-doughnut from the container Steve had somehow managed to not spill and winked at Steve before turning and walking up the sidewalk to his apartment.

~*~

Steve was called down to Washington, D.C. on Friday. SHIELD rolled out the red carpet as they showed Steve around the Triskelion. They claimed they’d called him in to see if he could remember anything more about the Tesseract and HYDRA’s weapons, but they were still trying very hard to sell themselves to Steve.

SHIELD was Peggy’s and Howard’s legacy, and Steve felt bad for turning them down every time they asked, but something didn’t feel right. Maybe because they were trying so hard when they already had Steve at their disposal whenever they needed his services, along with the other Avengers. Also, Steve wasn’t a spy, so asking him to join a spy organization seemed odd to him.

Steve answered their questions, and nodded with his Captain America face when they told him how hard they were working to keep the world safe. Steve couldn’t forget the HYDRA weapons he’d found on the helicarrier, and that it had been the Security Council who’d decided to drop a nuclear warhead on New York City.

Steve shook their hands and thanked them for the tour and promised to come when they called. He got out of there as soon as he could and went to visit Peggy before heading back to New York.

“How was Aunt Peggy?” Tony asked when Steve returned to the Tower.

“Good,” Steve said shortly. He always felt raw after he’d visited Peggy.

“Really good, or you don’t want to talk about it, or you’re saving my feelings by not telling me how not-good she really is?”

Steve just wanted to retreat to his apartment, but that brought him up short. “Tony, I . . .”

Tony thrust a tumbler towards Steve and he reflexively reached out to take it. “Tell me the truth. Please.”

Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He sat in one of the chairs in the communal living room and stared at the two inches of amber liquid in the glass, wishing he could feel the effects of it if only for a short time.

“She remembered who I was today,” Steve said. “No, that’s not right. She always remembers who I am, but today she remembered that it’s 2013 and that I came out of the ice a year ago. She told me not to feel pressured to join SHIELD, and then asked me to dance with her after the war.”

Steve emptied the tumbler. “It’s hard to see her like that.” He closed his mouth on saying anything more. Steve set the empty tumbler on the side table. He stood and Tony didn’t call him back. Steve paused at the door. “You should go see her.” He left the ‘before she dies’ unspoken.

Tony snorted. “She won’t even recognize me.”

“She will,” Steve said. “She might think you’re a trouble-making teenager, but that’s not the point.”

“What’s the point, then?”

“Do it for yourself. You’ll hate yourself if you don’t.”

Safely ensconced in his apartment, Steve called Bucky. “Sorry,” he said when Bucky answered. “Is it okay that I called?”

“Of course,” Bucky said. “What’s up?”

“I saw Peggy today,” Steve blurted. He hadn’t intended to say anything about that, just talk to Bucky until he felt like he could sleep.

There was a pause before Bucky said, “Okay. How was that?”

“Hard,” Steve said. “It was hard. It’s always hard.” Steve took a breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have . . .”

“Tell me about Peggy,” Bucky said. “I haven’t read her Wikipedia page yet.”

Steve huffed a laugh despite himself. “It wouldn’t do her justice.” Steve told Bucky how smart Peggy was, how tough. “She saw me,” he added. “Before I was . . . this.”

“She sounds like a special lady,” Bucky said.

“She was, is. It’s just . . . a year ago we had plans, and now the world’s moved on while I slept and she lived the rest of her life without me. Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair that I’m still here when everything I knew and everyone I cared about is gone.

“That . . . really sucks,” Bucky said. “I bet everyone thinks you should feel lucky.”

“Yeah. Bet Wiki doesn’t tell you that,” Steve said dryly.

“No,” Bucky said. “Have you thought about visiting their families?”

“Yeah, but it seemed like it would be an intrusion.”

“I bet they’d enjoy reminiscing about their father or grandfather with someone who knew him, them. And maybe it would make you feel better, too.”

Bucky didn’t use the word ‘closure’, but Steve had read enough to know that’s what he was talking about. “Yeah, alright, I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Bucky said. “Want me to tell you about the new dog that attended doggie daycare today and caused trouble?”

Steve settled back on the couch. “Yes, please tell me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Absolute Coffee](https://www.absolutecoffee.nyc/)
> 
> 2\. [Grand Central Terminal](https://www.grandcentralterminal.com/) | [Oren’s Daily Roast](https://www.orensdailyroast.com/)
> 
> 3\. [Citi Field](https://www.mlb.com/mets/ballpark) | [Where to Eat at Citi Field, Home of the Mets](https://ny.eater.com/2017/3/31/15067732/where-to-eat-citi-field-best-food-mets-stadium) | [All the delicious foods you can get at Citi Field this summer](https://www.timeout.com/newyork/news/all-the-delicious-foods-you-can-get-at-citi-field-this-summer-032218) | [Nathan’s Famous](https://nathansfamous.com/) | [Baked Cheese Haus](https://bakedcheesehaus.com/) | [Shake Shack](https://www.shakeshack.com/)


	6. Graffiti & Groundhog Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky woos Steve with art (and Steve meets a member of Bucky's family).

Sunday morning Steve met Bucky at Concord Hill in Williamsburg for brunch. Bucky’s smile when he saw Steve made Steve feel lighter than air. Steve hugged Bucky maybe too tightly before releasing him.

The food was good, but Steve barely remembered what he’d eaten. Steve had an epiphany while listening to Bucky relate a story about his youngest sister and a boy who got too handsy – he’d been so focused on the unfairness of being alive when everyone he’d loved and everything he’d known were gone that he’d frozen out his co-workers and people who might want to be his friend *now*.

Bucky was the first person he’d let in.

Bucky stopped talking. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

Bucky ducked his head and blushed even harder when Steve nudged their feet together under the table. Bucky paid and led Steve up Graham Avenue. It was a short walk from the restaurant to their destination.

“Today has a theme,” Bucky said before they arrived at the Brooklyn Art Library.

“Bucky, wha–?”

Bucky tugged on Steve’s hand. “Come on.”

Inside Bucky took Steve to a room that housed The Sketchbook Project. Rows and rows of shelves filled with sketchbooks.

“Anybody can look at these?” Steve said, amazed.

They sat at a table and looked through the sketchbooks that Steve had randomly pulled from the shelves. At one point Steve raised his head to find Bucky watching him instead of looking through the sketchbook in front of him.

“You’re bored,” Steve said, contrite. “We should do something you like, too.”

“I wouldn’t have planned this for our date if I thought I’d be bored,” Bucky said. “Besides, we are doing something I like. You like looking at the sketches, and I like looking at you.”

“Bucky,” Steve said. He bent his head, pretending it was so he could look at the sketches. “Okay.”

They tangled their legs together under the table and it was nice. Still, they didn’t stay much longer. Steve could come back anytime now that he knew this place existed. On the street Steve gave Bucky a kiss he meant to be quick, but which lingered.

“Thank you,” Steve said when they finally pulled apart. “For bringing me here.”

“You’re welcome.”

They caught the bus to Jefferson Ave. Bucky led him to Starr Street and they began a self-guided Brooklyn graffiti tour. The art was amazing, and there was so much of it to see. Bucky told Steve about The Bushwick Collective block party and he jotted it down in his notebook for next year. When they reached 56 Bogart Street they went inside to check out the galleries.

“There’s more,” Bucky said when they stood on the sidewalk again, “but we can do those on another day, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, Bucky,” Steve said. “This has been amazing, thank you.”

Another short bus ride later Bucky led Steve to the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory. They took their cones (chocolate chocolate chunk and coffee for Steve, and butter pecan and vanilla chocolate chunk for Bucky) outside and headed for the Newtown Creek Nature Walk. They sat on the steps at the water’s edge and finished their cones.

Bucky was unusually quiet as they neared the end of the Nature Walk. Finally he spoke. “Do you need to get back to the Tower for anything?”

“No, my schedule is . . . open.”

Bucky snorted at Steve making a point to not say ‘flexible’ again. “Would you like to come back to my place? For coffee . . . or something.”

“Yeah, I’d like that, Buck,” Steve said, trying to keep the eagerness out of his voice. He’d been curious about where Bucky lived since he’d gotten a glimpse of it the other night.

They caught the train at the Greenpoint Ave Station. The time passed quickly while Steve held Bucky’s hand and pondered whether Bucky had meant what Steve thought he’d meant. When they finally reached the house Steve recognized from dropping Bucky off after the baseball game, Bucky guided Steve down a walkway that led to the back.

“Are we sneaking in?” Steve said.

Bucky laughed. “My entrance is in the back. But also, yes. If my mom catches us we’ll never get to . . . coffee.”

The stairs in the back led them down to a one bed, one bath basement apartment. Bucky made sure the door was locked behind them and turned to Steve. Steve’s stomach swooped as he reeled Bucky in and kissed him. Steve slipped a hand beneath Bucky’s shirt, slid his hand up Bucky’s side until he could thumb a nipple. Bucky gave a soft moan of pleasure and Steve was determined to hear it again.

Bucky clung to Steve as he moved backwards through the apartment to what turned out to be the bedroom. Bucky’s legs hit the edge of the bed and he fell backwards onto the mattress, pulling Steve down with him. Steve enjoyed Bucky’s response to their kisses and to his hands on Bucky’s skin, but he wanted more.

“Take off your shirt,” Steve said, pushing up the hem.

Bucky hesitated and lowered his eyes.

“Buck?”

“I know you’ve already seen my scars . . .”

“Buck,” Steve said, “I’m not going to be disgusted by any part of you. Come on,” he said gently as he helped Bucky pull the shirt off over his head.

Steve ran his hands over Bucky’s chest and stomach. “You’re beautiful. All of you is beautiful.” Steve brushed his fingers over the scars and Bucky shivered. “Does it hurt?”

Bucky shook his head no. Steve lowered his head and placed kisses along the puckered skin where Bucky’s scars met his metal arm. He followed that same path with his tongue.

“Steve . . .”

Steve raised Bucky’s arm so he could lick into Bucky’s armpit. Bucky jerked and moaned, “Fuck, Steve.”

Steve mouthed down Bucky’s side to his waistband, then moved his attention to Bucky’s other side, licking into his pit and down his side. Bucky was making very satisfactory sounds in response, and they got even more satisfactory when Steve closed his mouth on Bucky’s nipple.

“Too much?” Steve said.

Bucky clutched at Steve’s back and shook his head. “Don’t stop.”

Steve laved the nipple, then sucked on it until it was hard and sensitive. Bucky grabbed for the comforter when Steve used his teeth. Bucky made garbled sounds and raised his hips in a bid for friction.

Steve laid a hand over Bucky’s groin and moved his mouth to Bucky’s other nipple. He rubbed and squeezed, licked and sucked, until Bucky was writhing and begging. Steve sat back on his heels and enjoyed the sight of Bucky, flushed and dazed. He pinched the head of Bucky’s cock through the material of his shorts to get Bucky’s attention.

“I want to do what you did to me before.”

“Blow me?” Bucky said. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Steve said. Before Steve got the words all the way out, Bucky scrabbled to undo the button as his waistband. “So that’s a yes, then,” Steve said dryly.

“Of course it’s a yes,” Bucky said, breathless. “Don’t be an asshole.”

Steve, because he could be an asshole, bent over Bucky and took the tip of his cock into his mouth before Bucky could kick off the shorts, leaving his legs trapped. Steve slowly worked his way down until his nose was buried in the hair at the base, sucking and using his tongue.

“Jesus christ, you’re good at that,” Bucky said.

Steve sucked up Bucky’s length and popped off. “Something else Wikipedia doesn’t know about me.”

“And they’re not going to,” Bucky said. “All the gay boys (and some of the straight ones) would be lining up and I don’t need the competition.”

“If you can still think in complete sentences I’m doing it wrong.” Steve went down on Bucky before he could reply and got a sweet groan for his efforts. Steve rolled and squeezed Bucky’s balls, then rubbed the skin behind them.

“Shit, shit, oh god, Steve . . .”

Steve moved his hand back further and pressed his finger against Bucky’s hole. Bucky made a sound deep in his throat and his body went taut. Steve swallowed each pulse of come that filled his mouth and gently milked Bucky’s cock until he made a sound of discomfort.

Steve let Bucky slip from his mouth and stretched out on the mattress beside him. He rubbed his hand up Bucky’s side as Bucky recovered.

“Fuck,” Bucky said, breathless. “Just give me a minute.”

Steve ran his hand over Bucky’s chest, flushed and damp with sweat, and smiled.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky said. “A+.”

Steve laughed.

~*~

A couple hours later, after Bucky had reciprocated and they’d napped and showered, there was a knock on the door. Bucky pulled on a pair of lounge pants and went to answer it.

Steve finished getting dressed and hesitated, not knowing whether he should stay in the bedroom until whoever Bucky had let in left. Bucky didn’t get rid of them quickly, so Steve took a deep breath and stepped out of the bedroom. The woman who’d been talking to Bucky froze with her mouth open when she saw Steve.

“You’ve got company,” the woman said to Bucky without taking her eyes off Steve.

“Yep,” Bucky said.

“You could’ve just said.”

“I was trying to keep you from getting that gleam in your eye.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, but Steve thought he saw a gleam in her eye. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, James?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Steve, this is my mom, Winifred Barnes. Ma, this is Steve Rogers.”

“Steve,” Mrs. Barnes said, extending her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Steve gently curled his fingers around Mrs. Barnes’s. “The pleasure’s all mine, ma’am.”

“Ma’am,” Mrs. Barnes repeated. She glanced at Bucky. “You could bring Steve to dinner.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide with horror, not all of which was feigned. “So you can interrogate him? No thanks.”

“I should probably warn you, I’ve had anti-interrogation training,” Steve said.

The woman gave Steve a shrewd look. “Is that a challenge?”

Steve caught himself before he took a step back. “No, ma’am.”

“Besides,” Bucky said. “We’ve got plans. We’re gonna watch a movie.”

“And have popcorn,” Steve added.

Bucky nodded his agreement.

“Well, maybe next time,” Mrs. Barnes said.

“I look forward to it, ma’am.”

The corners of Winifred Barnes’s lips twitched. “You boys have fun now.”

Bucky escorted his mother to the door and locked it behind her. He gave Steve a look. “I look forward to it?”

“I didn’t know what I was saying!” Steve said. “She scared me. And I’ve met the Red Skull.”

Bucky snorted. “Then her job here is done. Good thing we already had sex.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, looking a little bit shell-shocked.

Bucky stopped in front of Steve. He grasped Steve’s upper arms and kissed his lips. “Still wanna stay and watch a movie?”

“Yes, if that’s alright with you.”

“It’s very alright,” Bucky said. “You can pick the movie and I’ll make the popcorn. It’s just the microwave kind.”

“That’s fine,” Steve said.

Bucky set up Netflix and gave Steve the remote. “Just . . . no explosions.”

“I won’t,” Steve said, and gave Bucky a kiss because he didn’t like the uneasiness in his posture.

Steve didn’t want to stumble on another movie like ‘Steel Magnolias’, so he browsed the list of comedies to the sound of popping corn. Bucky soon appeared with a bowl and two bottles of beer. Steve took one of the bottles and used it to gesture towards the screen. “How about this one?”

Bucky dropped onto the couch next to Steve without spilling any of the popcorn or beer. He balanced the bowl on their legs and glanced at the screen. “Oh, yeah, you have to see this one. Go ahead and start it.”

Steve pressed play and set the remote on his leg so he could reach into the bowl for a handful of popcorn. A moment later a self-important TV weatherman named Phil Connors arrived in Punxsutawney, PA to cover their Groundhog Day ceremony. By the time the credits ran, Steve and Bucky were horizontal on the couch sharing lazy kisses.

“Movie nights aren’t usually like this.”

Bucky chuckled. “I should hope not.” He paused. “Then again, that could be hot.”

“Why?” Steve complained. “Why would you put that image in my head?”

“What can I do to get it out of your head?” Bucky said, slithering out from beside Steve and spreading out on top of him.

Steve’s stomach growled and Bucky laughed.

“I’m guessing ‘feed you’ is the answer here.”

“Sorry,” Steve said. It had been a long time since brunch, and ice cream and popcorn only did so much to fill the void that was Steve’s stomach.

“No, my bad,” Bucky said. “Feeding you was part of the original plan, but I forgot about it in favor of getting you back here and naked.”

“This wasn’t part of the original plan?” Steve stretched under Bucky.

“I improvised,” Bucky said.

Steve ran his hands up Bucky’s sides. “Improvisation is good.” His stomach growled again, ruining the moment.

“Why don’t we order take-out and we can make out ‘til it gets here?”

Steve reluctantly dropped his hands so Bucky could stand. He chose the Thai restaurant out of the take-out menus Bucky fanned out for him and let Bucky order for them.

As Bucky promised, they made out on the couch until the food arrived. Steve took a few deep breaths and adjusted himself in his slacks while Bucky answered the door. Bucky set out the take-out containers on the coffee table and they shared Pad See Yue, Chicken Curry Puff, and Shrimp and Chicken Mango.

Halfway through the meal, Bucky said, “Has anyone ever eaten out your ass?”

Steve froze with a piece of shrimp inches from his mouth. “Is that what it sounds like?”

“If it sounds like someone putting their mouth on your asshole and tongue fucking you until you cry, then yes.”

Steve swallowed hard as his body responded to the image Bucky painted. “I hadn’t guessed the crying part,” he said, “but no, no one has, um . . .”

“You should add it to your list,” Bucky said, popping a corner of the puff into his mouth.

“But,” Steve said, “who would I get to help me with that?”

Bucky smirked at Steve.

Steve dropped the shrimp back into the container. The remainder of the food was put in the refrigerator for a midnight snack and Steve crossed one more thing off his list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Concord Hill](http://www.concordhillbk.com/)
> 
> 2\. [Brooklyn Art Library – The Sketchbook Project](https://www.sketchbookproject.com/libraries)
> 
> 3\. [A Self-Guided Brooklyn Graffiti Tour](https://offmetro.com/ny/a-self-guided-brooklyn-graffiti-tour/) | [The Bushwick Collective](http://thebushwickcollective.com/) | [The Bogart](http://56bogartstreet.com/)
> 
> 4\. [Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory](https://www.brooklynicecreamfactory.com/) | [Newtown Creek Nature Walk](http://www.nyc.gov/html/dep/html/environmental_education/newtown.shtml)
> 
> 5\. [Nahm Thai Kitchen](https://www.nahmthaikitchenbrooklynny.com/)


	7. Shovel Talks & Charity Balls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gives Steve the 'shovel talk', which Clint thinks is hilarious.

On Wednesday Bucky took Steve to the Mill Basin Kosher Delicatessen, where part of the owner’s priceless art collection lined the walls. Steve spent more time looking at the art than he did eating. Each time Steve glanced over at Bucky, he was watching Steve with a pleased smile. That night Steve thanked Bucky by crossing something else off his list.

~*~

Sunday they went to Coney Island. Steve didn’t know what he’d expected. Astroland was now Luna Park and everything was new and modern.

Bucky hugged Steve from behind. “The Cyclone’s still here.”

As was the Wonder Wheel and Nathan’s Famous hotdogs, at least.

“Plus, there’s an aquarium, and I bet they have sea lions.” Bucky waggled his eyebrows.

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Steve said, the corners of his lips twitching.

They rode the Cyclone and Steve didn’t get sick, kissed on top of the Wonder Wheel, ate too many hot dogs, visited the sea lions, and held hands on the beach.

It was another good day.

~*~

Over the next few weeks, Steve and Bucky saw ‘The Lion King’ at The Gallery Players and went to the Joe Russo’s Almost Dead concert at the Prospect Park Bandshell as part of Celebrate Brooklyn! Steve invited Bucky to meet his friends, but Bucky thought it might be too intimidating to meet all of the Avengers at once, so Steve introduced him to Clint and Lucky, and they got pizza at Saraghina’s. Clint only embarrassed Steve a little bit when he recounted in much greater detail, and with much more enthusiasm, the story of his practice arrow hitting Steve in the ass.

They attended another softball game and didn’t leave before Bucky introduced Steve to Becca. She smiled at Steve and said she was happy to meet him, then promised that no one would find the body if he hurt Bucky.

“I’m kinda hard to kill,” Steve said.

Becca narrowed her eyes at Steve. “Is that a challenge?”

“No, oh my god!” Bucky said. “What is wrong with you?”

Steve couldn’t tell whether Bucky was talking to him or Becca.

“I can’t believe,” Clint said later between hiccups of laughter, “that someone gave _Captain America_ the shovel talk.”

Steve thought Clint deserved it when Lucky stole the last dumpling off his plate.

~*~

Steve and Bucky ducked into the Visitor Center, had lunch at the Yellow Magnolia Café, and wandered the paths at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. They visited the Library and the Garden Shop (where Bucky bought Steve a hooded sweatshirt that said _Locally Grown_ ), and stretched out on the lawn of the Cherry Esplanade to enjoy the weather.

Bucky leaned back on his hands, his face tipped up to the sun like one of the plants, and Steve couldn’t resist pulling out his small notebook. He sketched Bucky out in a few lines, the muscles in his arm, the line of his neck and jaw.

“What are you doing?” Bucky said without opening his eyes.

“Drawing you.”

“Like one of your French girls?” Bucky said.

Steve’s pencil stopped moving. “What?”

Bucky’s eyes opened at that. “No one’s made you watch ‘Titanic’ yet?”

“No.” Steve resumed his sketch. “Should I?”

“Depends on how you feel about movies that stab you in the heart and twist the knife.”

“Not literally, right?”

Bucky’s lips curled. Steve started a separate sketch of Bucky’s mouth.

“It’ll feel like it.”

It took Steve, focused on the curve of Bucky’s lips, a moment to recall what they’d been talking about. “So that’s a no to ‘Titanic’ then.”

Steve added a flower crown to Bucky’s head.

“Oh god, why are you smiling like that?”

Steve hadn’t realized he’d been smiling, but now it widened. Bucky leaned closer so he could see Steve’s sketch.

“Seriously?”

“I saw it on the internet.”

“Of course you did.”

Bucky laughed when Steve added a fluffy bunny standing beside Bucky’s leg, staring up at him adoringly.

“Are you hungry?” Bucky said.

“God yes!” Steve put the notebook and pencil away and stood. It had only been a couple hours since lunch, but Steve’s metabolism had made quick work of that.

“And then after, dessert?” Bucky waggled his eyebrows.

Steve didn’t blush as much at Bucky’s teasing now, and he’d learned that Bucky was charmed when Steve teased him back. “Well, dessert _is_ the most important meal of the day.”

“I don’t think that’s the saying,” Bucky said. He gave Steve a kiss that left them both breathless. “But it totally should be.”

~*~

Steve confided to Bucky that he’d looked for a place in Brooklyn after he came out of the ice, but that everything had looked so different to how he remembered it. He’d hated being reminded of how much time had passed while he’d been in the ice, how much he’d lost.

It didn’t escape his notice that the next couple of dates Bucky planned included a bike tour of the Brooklyn waterfront and a walk through Vinegar Hill Historic District, which was still reminiscent of the 19th century.

The leaves started changing and they spent more time in Prospect Park enjoying it while they could. They shopped at Greenmarket on the Plaza and rode the Carousel next to the zoo. When the weather was cool or rainy they went to the Brooklyn Museum and the Brooklyn Library, and visited a few of the many art galleries that had sprouted up in DUMBO.

~*~

At the end of October Tony hosted a Charity Costume Ball. Steve was only going because it was for charity, and because Pepper had personally asked him to make an appearance in order to get more people to open their wallets.

“Will you go with me?” Steve said, after telling Bucky about it.

“You want me to go with you to a fancy party at Stark Tower?”

“Technically it’s Avengers Tower, now.”

“Not helping,” Bucky said.

“It’ll probably be the least stressful way to meet everyone, since they’ll be distracted having a good time and not being nosy.”

“At a one thousand dollar per person party?”

“Tony’s calling it a ball.”

“Still not helping.”

“It’s for a good cause?”

“What would we even go as?”

“I was hoping you’d have some ideas,” Steve said.

“You could be James Bond.”

“Who’s James Bond?”

“007,” Bucky said, “an English spy.” He pulled up a photo on his phone of Sean Connery as James Bond.

“He’s just wearing a suit.”

“Exactly. You’d have to carry a martini. Shaken, not stirred. I could be your Bond Girl.”

“What’s a Bond Girl?”

“The girl who inevitably falls for Bond in every movie, and usually dies horribly.” Bucky caught Steve running his eyes up and down him. “Tell me you weren’t just imagining me in a dress.”

“I . . . wasn’t?”

“I would also be in a suit, but I’d carry a stuffed cat and a name tag that says Pussy Galore. It’ll be awesome.”

“I can’t tell if you’re screwing with me.”

Which led to Steve and Bucky watching some classic Bond, as well as some of the newer ones, and Steve observing, “Moneypenny’s too good for him.”

~*~

Steve was nervous the day of the ball. It was late enough that Bucky hadn’t asked for the day off; he was supposed to come to the Tower straight from work so they could get ready together. Steve kept going into the bedroom to look at the two suits hanging in his closet. To stop himself from doing that, he went for a run and hit the punching bag until he was drenched in sweat.

Steve was a little bit nervous about Bucky meeting the others, especially Tony. Steve showered and fixed lunch and tried to read a book. He ended up checking the time left until Bucky got off work.

 _See you soon._ Steve sent. _I’m looking forward to tonight._

He hadn’t been, because big parties where people came to gawk at Captain America weren’t his cup of tea, but once Bucky had agreed to accompany him Steve had started to get excited about it.

Steve counted down the minutes until Bucky would arrive. His stomach swooped as Steve imagined JARVIS’s voice announcing that Bucky was there. JARVIS’s voice never broke into Steve’s ruminations. Steve checked the time again – Bucky was five minutes late. Ten minutes.

*Is everything alright?” Steve sent at fifteen.

Steve hurried to the door at the knock thirty minutes later. His steps slowed when JARVIS informed him that it was Clint, not Bucky.

“You’re not dressed!” Clint said when he saw Steve.

“Bucky’s not here, yet,” Steve said.

“He’s probably running late,” Clint said. “Get dressed and come down. JARVIS will let you know when Bucky arrives.”

“Indeed I will, Captain,” JARVIS said.

“Yeah, alright,” Steve said morosely, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

Steve closed the door and just stood there. The last thing he wanted to do was go to a party when he didn’t know what had happened to Bucky. But he also didn’t want to disappoint Pepper, or for Tony to say anything about Steve hiding out because his date was late.

_Where are you, Bucky?_

Steve got dressed in the suit, adding the watch and pen that came from a child’s Spy Kit that Bucky had bought him, and the pack of candy cigarettes.

_Text me when you get here._

Natasha was waiting for Steve outside his apartment. She fixed his tie and slipped her arm through his. “I’ll be your Bond Girl until James arrives.”

Steve didn’t bother asking how Natasha knew Bucky’s name, or what their costumes were, just let her lead him to the elevator. They entered the ball through the front door (seeing the Avengers was the draw for many of the people donating) even though Steve would’ve preferred to sneak in through the back.

Steve plastered on his Captain America smile, which got him past the cameras Tony had allowed in after careful vetting. Natasha led him to the bar where Clint was waiting with a beer in one hand and a martini on the bar top beside him. Clint slid the martini towards Steve, who picked it up and downed it in one go. Natasha gestured to the bartender.

“Remember that this is supposed to be a prop,” Natasha said when she traded a full glass for Steve’s empty. No loss, Steve thought. It hadn’t tasted very good anyway.

Either Natasha or Clint were beside Steve all night, except for the time Darcy dragged him out onto the dance floor. He stepped on her toes at least three times, which Steve apologized for even though he figured it served her right for trying to draw him out of his funk.

Tony and Pepper made the rounds and stopped to chat with Clint, Natasha, and Steve. Tony was dressed as a WWII soldier and Pepper as Rosie the Riveter.

Steve kissed Pepper’s cheek. “You look great, Pepper.”

“What about me?” Tony said. He looked Steve up and down. “What are you supposed to be?”

“Bond,” Steve said dryly, saluting Tony with his martini. “James Bond.”

“Boring,” Tony said. “You’re just wearing a suit.”

“Don’t forget about his gadgets,” Clint said.

“Is that a euphemism?” Tony said.

Natasha plucked the pen out of Steve’s breast pocket and pointed it at Tony. When Tony gave it an unimpressed look she depressed the top of the pen and a stream of water hit Tony between the eyes.

Steve had to bite his lips at the expression of surprise on Tony’s face. “That could’ve been a poisonous dart,” he said very seriously as he handed over a napkin.

Tony wiped the dripping water off his face. “I hate all of you.”

Steve reached into his pocket and curled his fingers around his phone. It hadn’t buzzed with a text or call all night. By eleven o’clock Steve could no longer keep up the facade of being even slightly okay. He excused himself from Clint and Natasha and headed for the servers’ entrance.

“JARVIS,” Steve began.

“I’m sorry, Captain, but there has been no communication from Mr. Barnes.”

“Thank you,” Steve said. He let JARVIS guide him to the nearest elevator that would return him to his apartment.

Steve stared at the last text he’d sent Bucky. He typed, _I’m worried, Bucky. Please let me know you’re alright._

Steve dropped the phone onto the couch and changed into workout gear. He ran the obstacle course and climbed the rock wall and hit the punching bag until anyone else’s knuckles would be raw in hopes that he’d be able to sleep without wondering whether Bucky had been hurt, or whether he’d done something wrong. Had he pushed Bucky into attending the ball and meeting his friends before he was ready? Steve gave the bag one more punch before he left the gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Mill Basin Kosher Delicatessen](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/mill-basin-kosher-delicatessen)
> 
> 2\. [Coney Island Fun Guide](http://coneyislandfunguide.com/) | [Luna Park](https://lunaparknyc.com/) | [New York Aquarium](https://nyaquarium.com/)
> 
> 3\. [The Gallery Players](http://galleryplayers.com/)
> 
> 4\. [Celebrate Brooklyn!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebrate_Brooklyn!) | [Joe Russo’s Almost Dead](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Russo%27s_Almost_Dead) is a real band (a Grateful Dead cover band made up of musicians from other bands) and I couldn’t resist using it because of the name. *g*
> 
> 5\. [Saraghina](http://www.saraghina.com/)
> 
> 6\. [Brooklyn Botanical Garden](https://www.bbg.org/) | [Steve’s ’Locally Grown’ Hoodie](https://shop.bbg.org/a575/catalog/product/view/id/45798/) (which I am pretending comes in adult sizes, too)
> 
> 7\. [The Brooklyn Waterfront Bike Tour](https://getupandride.com/brooklyn-bike-tour/)
> 
> 8\. [Vinegar Hill – Walk into the 19th century without leaving Brooklyn.](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/vinegar-hill)
> 
> 9\. [Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket](https://www.grownyc.org/greenmarket/brooklyn-grand-army-plaza) | [Prospect Park Map (prospectpark.org) | ](https://www.prospectpark.org/media/filer_public/fc/df/fcdf91e9-eb0b-4663-a163-541f79c51c88/prospect_park_map.pdf)[](https://www.brooklynmuseum.org/) | [Carousel](https://www.prospectpark.org/visit-the-park/places-to-go/carousel/?gclid=Cj0KEQjw3ZS-BRD1xu3qw8uS2s4BEiQA2bcfMxrorwDsz1Q1OTegdraU7h8kr9pMmhi4iBIWzX8RthAaAqb18P8HAQ) | [Brooklyn Public Library](https://www.bklynlibrary.org/)
> 
> 10\. [Art In DUMBO](http://artindumbo.com/)
> 
> 11\. For those of you who never got to experience them as a child, [Candy Cigarettes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_cigarette).


	8. Titanic & Giant Spiders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve watches 'Titantic' and fights giant spiders.

Steve went for his usual run Sunday morning, adding on a couple more miles until he felt a little bit of a burn in his muscles. He showered and fixed breakfast in an empty kitchen because everyone else had slept in.

The rest of the day loomed in front of him. Steve couldn’t even go anywhere to meet Bucky because they’d planned for Bucky to spend the night. Steve hadn’t made firm plans, but he’d thought they might go to Central Park.

Steve picked up his sketchbook, but he didn’t feel like drawing. He picked up a book he’d started about Martin Luther King Jr., but couldn’t concentrate on it. He considered going to the gym and beating up another punching bag, but he couldn’t even work up the energy to do that.

“JARVIS, can you help me find a movie to watch?”

“Of course, Captain. What movie would you like?”

Steve told the AI, and JARVIS pulled it up. Steve made a package of microwave popcorn and pulled the blinds and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders before instructing JARVIS to start the movie.

About an hour later there was a knock at his door. Steve considered ignoring it, but JARVIS quietly informed him that it was Clint and Natasha.

“Pause, please,” Steve said. He dropped the blanket and went to answer the door. If he didn’t, Natasha would probably find a way to bypass the lock.

“Hey,” Clint said. He peered past Steve into the darkened apartment. “Did we wake you?”

“No, I was just watching a movie.”

“Oh, what movie?” Clint said.

“‘Titanic’.”

“Shit,” Clint said, “it’s worse than I thought.”

“What is?”

“Your depression,” Natasha said, “over being stood up.”

Steve snorted. “I’ve been depressed since I came out of the ice to learn that everyone I knew was dead.”

“Exactly,” Natasha said, pushing past Steve.

“What are you doing?”

“Yeah, Nat, what are you doing?” Clint said, sounding panicked.

“We’re going to watch the movie with you,” Natasha announced. “I’ll make more popcorn.”

“You don’t have to,” Steve said, trying to subtly let them know that he’d prefer to be alone.

“Noooo!” Clint said.

Natasha ignored them both and headed into Steve’s kitchen. Steve and Clint shared a look. Steve stepped back to let Clint in.

“You’re gonna owe me,” Clint said.

Steve handed the empty popcorn bowl to Clint and wrapped himself back up in the blanket. Steve didn’t bother to listen in to the whispered conversation in the kitchen.

Natasha sat on Steve’s left with the bowl in her lap. Clint found the box of tissues before he sat on Steve’s right. They leaned in so their shoulders were touching Steve’s.

“What are you doing?”

“Keeping you company while you march into tragedy,” Natasha said.

“Why?”

“Because that’s what friends do,” Clint said. “Even when they don’t want to.”

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat and told JARVIS to play the movie.

“Should I start over from the beginning?” JARVIS said.

“No!” both Clint and Natasha said.

By the time the movie ended they’d all made use of the tissues. While the credits ran, Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat and said, “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Natasha patted Steve’s hand. Clint gave Steve a one-armed hug. It felt really awkward. And kind of nice.

~*~

On Tuesday Steve caved and asked Darcy to contact Taylor. He just wanted to know whether Bucky was at work. Whether he was okay. Taylor got back to Darcy a few agonizing minutes later: Bucky was at work, but he looked like crap. Steve didn’t know what to make of that.

“It means he’s unhappy and he misses you,” Darcy said.

“Then why doesn’t he return my texts?”

Darcy gave Steve a once over, then grabbed his arm and dragged him into the kitchen. “Let’s play a drinking game.”

“I can’t get drunk,” Steve reminded her.

Darcy gave Steve a sympathetic look. “I know. That sucks. But I can get drunk enough for both of us.”

“Why do you want to get drunk?”

“You know Taylor and I aren’t seeing each other anymore, right?”

“No,” Steve said. “I didn’t know that. I . . . guess I’ve been kind of self-absorbed lately.”

“That’s alright,” Darcy said. “Falling in love is like that, all-consuming.”

“I’m not . . . ,” Steve began, the words cutting off at Darcy’s look. “Anyway, I’m sorry about Taylor.”

Darcy shrugged. “That’s okay. I’m kind of a lot to handle.”

“I’d have thought that was just Taylor’s type.”

“Apparently not.” Darcy took out her phone and texted someone.

“Who’s that?”

“Jane,” Darcy said as she ducked into the refrigerator for a few bottles of beer. “She’d kill me if she found out we’d played without her.”

“Jane?” Steve said.

A moment later Jane appeared in the kitchen, breathless. “Why are we playing . . .” She looked at Darcy’s set up. “. . . quarters at ten am?”

“Steve needs to get drunk,” Darcy said.

“Steve can’t get drunk.”

Steve nodded his head in agreement.

“Okay, then, _I_ need to get drunk.”

“Alright,” Jane said, taking that in stride. She rubbed her hands together. “You and me against the super soldier?”

Darcy cackled. “Oh yeah!”

Jane explained the rules to Steve and they began playing. Once Steve got the hang of it he never missed. He gamely drank whenever Jane or Darcy made the shot. About a half-hour later Bruce showed up. He looked hung over, but Steve knew he’d more likely been up all night in the lab. Bruce poured himself a cup of coffee and stood watching them.

“Want to play?” Steve offered.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Who’s winning?”

“We are!” Darcy said, and promptly slid off the chair.

Steve and Jane helped Darcy back up. “Maybe we should stop playing,” Steve said.

“No,” Darcy said, “not when I’m winning!”

Bruce set a glass of water and two aspirin on the island. Jane gave them to Darcy and she obediently swallowed the aspirin and drank the water.

“I fucking hate being sad,” Darcy said.

Jane looked to Steve for an explanation.

“Darcy texted Taylor this morning. For me. I didn’t know . . .”

“Come on,” Jane said to Darcy. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“I’m supposed to take care of you,” Darcy said.

“You do,” Jane said. “All the time. Let me take care of you this time.”

Steve caught Darcy when she stumbled. He gave her a hug. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

Darcy patted Steve’s arm. “It’s okay. I don’t like to see you sad, either.”

Steve and Bruce watched Jane and Darcy until the elevator doors hid them from view. Bruce cleared his throat.

“So, you’re sad?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I guess I am.” He hesitated, then said, “I think Bucky and I are maybe not seeing each other anymore.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You want to talk about it?”

“I really don’t,” Steve said.

Bruce looked relieved. “You want to come to the lab and help me try to open a bridge to Asgard?”

Steve chuckled. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll see if Natasha’s free to come beat up on me.”

“Yeah, okay, you do that.”

~*~

Steve went for his run on Wednesday and made breakfast for anyone who showed up, which was everyone after Tony sent a group text. He was trying to not think about Wednesday being his and Bucky’s usual date night, or that his final text to Bucky yesterday ( _I’m glad you’re okay, Bucky. I’ll be here if you decide you want to talk._ ) had gone unanswered, just like all the others, when Agent Coulson called with a mission. Steve didn’t pump his fist, but only because everyone was still sitting around the island complaining about being full.

Apparently someone had created a testament of their love for the Black Widow and giant spiders were running loose in Chicago.

“At least it’s not New York again,” Tony said.

“Robots?” Steve asked.

“No,” Coulson said, unruffled, while Skye grimaced behind him. “Organic.”

“We managed to kill one,” Skye said, “and it splattered _everywhere_. And it burns a little, so FYI.”

“There are too many of them for us to handle on our own,” Coulson said. “We’d appreciate your assistance, Captain Rogers.”

“We’ll be there in . . .” Steve glanced at Tony, who held up three fingers. “Thirty minutes. Can you keep them corralled that long?”

“We’ll do our best,” Coulson said.

“Alright.” Steve’s glance took in everyone gathered around the kitchen island. “Avengers, assemble.”

“I love when he says that,” Coulson said, obviously unaware that they could still hear him.

“Uh, AC,” Skye said, and the screen went blank.

Tony gave some instructions to JARVIS about getting the Quinjet ready. Steve and Clint went to the locker room to change into their uniforms. Steve had never been more happy to have a reason to assemble the team. He was feeling like Hulk, wanting something to smash.

Clint piloted the Quinjet while Bruce and Tony studied the giant spiders with Steve and Nat looking over their shoulders. “Any way to incapacitate or kill them without spattering their toxic innards all over everyone?”

“Cut off their cephalothorax,” Tony said.

“Why can’t you just say head?” Steve said.

“Without puncturing the abdomen segment,” Natasha said.

“Shove something into their brain through one of their eyes?” Bruce said.

“Okay,” Steve said. “Aim for the head, stay away from the abdomen, and watch out for their legs.”

“And fangs,” Natasha said. “Spiders bite, and those will have enlarged fangs.”

“Great,” Steve said.

They touched base with Coulson, who directed them to a building where they could land the jet. Bruce stayed with the jet until he might be needed. Clint set up in the nest Coulson had picked out for him while he awaited their arrival.

“Great sight lines,” Clint said when he was in place.

“I know what you need to do your job, Hawkeye,” Coulson said.

Clint started shooting into the amassed cluster of spiders. The entire group started moving towards the perceived threat when some of them went down with arrows lodged through their eyes and into their brains. It opened up an area for Steve to leap (and Tony to drop Natasha) onto the ground.

Steve smashed an unsuspecting spider on the side of the head, then used his shield to sever a couple of legs so he could knock the spider down. Steve moved to a spot at the spider’s back so the remaining legs couldn’t get him, and used the edge of the shield to sever the cephalothorax from the abdomen. He stepped back quickly, but no ichor sprayed from the corpse.

Natasha downed a spider with one of her widow bites. “Electricity disrupts their nervous system,” she announced while sawing at the spider’s ‘neck’ with a short-bladed knife. Steve finished the job with his shield. Steve and Natasha continued to work together – she incapacitated the spiders with her widow bites and he severed their heads.

Tony blasted the spiders in the head, toasting them. One spider realized the danger and cast a web that it spun around one of Tony’s iron legs. Tony blasted the web and reminded the others of the danger of getting too close to the spiders’ rear ends.

Clint used up his regular arrows, and switched to the electrical. “I hate to waste these when I’m not going to miss,” he said as he made short work of half a dozen more of the creatures. “I’ll be down to acid or explosive when these run out, unless you want me to hobble them with the bolo.”

A group of spiders worked together to back Steve up against one of the corpses before Natasha could get widow bites on all of them. Clint got the one nearest Steve with an arrow when Natasha said, “Steve’s in trouble,” but it was too late. Steve went down to one knee when one of the spiders sank its fangs into the back of his leg. He was almost buried beneath the converging spiders, but he kicked the head of the spider that bit him and rolled between their legs and out of the way.

“We’re going to need one of your exploding arrows,” Steve said.

“Why’s that?”

“A severed head just bit me. Apparently severing the head from the abdomen doesn’t stop the brain from functioning. We need to burn them.”

“No exploding arrows,” Coulson said calmly. “We want whatever toxic substance is inside them to stay inside them. Can you get them all together so we can douse them with an accelerant? Hawkeye can fire a flaming arrow into the pile.”

“Yes,” Steve said, wading into the corpses so he could drag them into a pile.

“I need a sample of the venom!” Bruce yelled. “In case we need an anti-venon.”

“I’m fine,” Steve said, teeth grinding against the pain.

“You don’t know that,” Natasha said as she calmly dragged a severed head to the side. “And what if one of us gets bitten?”

“You move too fast, Tony’s in a metal suit, and Clint’s on the roof,” Steve said, but he didn’t deny Bruce’s request.

Tony helped Steve pile up the spiders, and Natasha joined them after she got the sample Bruce needed. Steve uncovered a live spider, which he only discovered when it stabbed a leg into his stomach.

“Shit,” Steve said as the spider rose up onto its legs, putting Steve on his back. Steve got the shield between them before the spider could sink its fangs into him and was able to hold it off long enough for Natasha to stop it with a widow bite and Tony to blast its head. Ichor spattered Steve.

“Sorry,” Tony said, sounding actually sorry. “I was in a hurry and couldn’t get a good angle.”

Natasha dragged the spider off Steve. He bit back a scream as the leg pulled out of him. She helped Steve to his feet and he walked beside her as best he could, ignoring the hole in his gut and the burns on his skin.

“Drop the accelerant,” Steve said when they were far enough away.

Tony flew over the pile and sprayed accelerant onto the spiders.

“Hawkeye,” Steve said.

Clint fired a flaming arrow. The pile of spiders went up in a whoosh of flame. Steve held his shield in front of him and Natasha in case the heat was felt this far out. Clint bemoaned the loss of his arrows. Natasha told him he was welcome to come and get them.

Steve showered on the Bus at Coulson’s order to get the ichor off his skin as soon as possible and changed into a borrowed set of clothes. Coulson also insisted that Agent Simmons look at his injuries before he was released to head back to New York with the others, who’d spent the time clearing the building to make sure no spiders had survived.

Steve shuddered when they reported finding a nest of eggs that had to be destroyed.

On the Quinjet during the flight back home, Tony said, “We’re used to you getting hurt, Cap, because you rush in without thought for your own safety, but you usually take the safety of the rest of your team into account.”

Steve opened his mouth to defend himself, but Natasha spoke before he could get a word out.

“He wasn’t being careful because he’s been spoiling for a fight.” Natasha glared at Steve and dared him to deny it.

Steve didn’t, because it was true.

“You’re lucky your inattention didn’t get anyone else hurt,” Natasha added.

No one else said anything, nor did they bring it up again, but Natasha was right, his recklessness could’ve gotten someone hurt.

Steve was forced by glares and disappointed looks to go to the infirmary when they reached the Tower. No amount of insisting that he’d already been checked over satisfied the others. Dr. Helen Cho told Steve to take it easy for the rest of the day and to see her again tomorrow so she could check on his stomach wound.

Steve wanted to pass on the team dinner Tony called as soon as they arrived back at the Tower (or, as Tony had dubbed it, the ‘Thank God We Weren’t All Killed By Giant Spiders’ dinner), but they sent Bruce and Pepper to get him and Steve would’ve felt like a heel turning them down. Which everyone knew, the jerks.

Team dinner turned into movie night and Steve felt more alone than ever as he watched the easy way the others moved around each other, touching and smiling and comfortable with each other. Without talking about it, Natasha sat on Steve’s left, Clint on her other side, and Darcy on Steve’s right, with Jane on her other side. Tony, Pepper and Bruce took the love seat. Natasha and Darcy leaned into Steve, and Clint and Jane leaned against their shoulders. Steve blinked against the sting in his eyes and stared at the screen without seeing anything.

~*~

Steve went for his usual run before stopping in to see Dr. Cho. She gave him a look, as if he was a recalcitrant child, then checked the wounds in his stomach and the back of his thigh. She took another blood sample to make sure the toxins were out of his system and sent him on his way.

The rest of the day – the rest of his life – loomed ahead of him in a way it hadn’t since he’d met Bucky. Steve recalled Bucky’s long ago suggestion that he find something besides avenging and training to fill his time. Going to college was a thing he could do now. Steve thought about taking some art classes. It would be fun, but it wouldn’t be meaningful.

Steve went to the internet for help, but there was too much information about the many groups of people that needed help, and hundreds of organizations. How could he choose between sick children or families living on the street or suicide prevention for LGBTQ kids?

Steve had to be back for training later, but right now he needed to get out of the Tower. Steve packed his messenger bag with sketchbook, tablet, pencils and chargers, and headed out with no destination in mind.

Steve headed east on 42nd Street. His feet slowed when he reached Bryant Park. The place wasn’t as busy as it was on the weekend, but there were still some people playing chess or creating art, or just sitting on a bench with a cup of coffee.

Steve had thought he might keep going towards the bustle of Times Square, but he decided to spend some time here where it would be less crowded until people showed up to have their lunch outside while the weather still held. He got a cup of coffee from the Joe Coffee Company kiosk and wandered the paths until he found a bench with a view of two men playing chess.

Steve sipped the coffee and watched the other people who were enjoying the park – a father and his daughter doing somersaults on the lawn, the two older men playing chess, two women walking hand-in-hand, a teenaged boy and girl (who looked like they were skipping school), riding the carousel.

Steve got out his sketchbook and began drawing – the carousel in motion, the fountain behind him from memory, the two men at the chess board. Steve put his sketchbook away and walked around the end of the lawn and past the fountain to Breads Bakery. He ordered two sandwiches and found a different bench with a view of the Apiary on which to eat them.

A man limped past Steve’s bench. Steve recognized him from earlier and realized the man was slowly making laps of the park. He was older than Steve, but still relatively young, maybe in his late 40s, though he had the gaunt, unkempt look of a man living rough.

“Sir, excuse me, sir,” Steve said before he even realized he was going to speak.

It took a moment for the man to respond, probably more used to being invisible than seen, much less addressed. The man turned towards Steve, his shoulders hunched defensively. “You talkin’ to me?”

“Yes, sir,” Steve said. “I wondered if you’d be interested in joining me for lunch. I ordered two sandwiches from Breads Bakery . . .” Steve gestured towards the kiosk. “ . . . and I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach.” This man had never seen Steve eat, so he wouldn’t know it was a bald-faced lie. “I’d hate for it to go to waste.”

The man stared at Steve, and Steve did his best to look guileless. The man snorted, as if he could see right through Steve, but he walked back to Steve and carefully lowered himself onto the bench.

“Hip,” the man said. “Doc says I need to exercise it so it doesn’t stiffen up.” He glanced at the sandwiches. “What have you got there?”

“Goat cheese and eggplant, and brie and olive,” Steve said.

“Shit, son,” the man said, “no wonder you want to get rid of ‘em.”

“I’m trying new things,” Steve said, trying not to sound defensive, “and they sounded interesting.”

“Sure, right up until you go to stick ‘em in your mouth.” He waggled his fingers. “What one you want to get rid of most?”

Steve wanted to be insulted, but he laughed. “Why don’t we split them so we can try them both.”

“Awesome,” the man said dryly, but his eyes were twinkling.

Steve unwrapped one of the sandwiches, took half and handed the other half still in the wrapper to the other man. “I’m Steve,” Steve said when he realized that he still didn’t know the other man’s name.

“Well, shit, son, I know that. Anybody hasn’t seen footage of the Battle of New York has to be living under a rock. I’m Dave.”

“Hi, Dave,” Steve said, extending his hand.

They shook and went back to eating.

“Not to mention those giant spiders,” Dave said.

Steve winced. “You saw that?”

“All over the news. And Youtube.” Dave glanced at Steve’s stomach. “You sure you shouldn’t be resting?”

“I heal fast,” Steve said. “And I already have enough mother hens.”

Dave laughed. “You know, this brie stuff is pretty good.”

“How’d you hurt your hip, if you don’t mind my asking,” Steve said.

“Bullet.”

“Were you in the military?”

Dave snorted. “NYPD, and dealing with those doctors is enough of a pain in the ass. I’d hate to have to deal with the VA.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Worse from what I hear.”

They finished the brie and olive sandwich and moved on to the goat cheese and eggplant. Dave pronounced them both good, “but nothing beats a ham and swiss with spicy mustard.”

“Nathan’s hot dog,” Steve said.

The two men said their goodbyes and headed in opposite directions. Steve stopped at the New York Public Library on his way back to the Tower. He walked through the exhibitions and gazed at the architecture. Normally this type of thing would be soothing, but today it wasn’t.

~*~

Clint asked Steve to help him with some repairs at the apartment building it turned out Clint owned. Steve was surprised by the request. “Sure, but you know I don’t know anything about drywall or plumbing.”

“That’s okay,” Clint said, “I just need someone to do the heavy lifting.”

Which was a lie, but how Steve found himself spackling holes and painting walls and replacing a door knob. It kept him too busy during the days on Friday and Saturday to think about Bucky, but the nights were a different matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Bryant Park](http://bryantpark.org/)| [Bryant Park Map](http://bryantpark.org/the-park#park-map) | [Joe Coffee Company](http://joenewyork.com/) | [Breads Bakery](https://www.breadsbakery.com/) | [New York Public Library](https://www.nypl.org/events/exhibitions/schwarzman-building)


	9. Admissions & Ping Pong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky talk and Steve introduces Bucky to the team.

Steve ran harder than usual, trying to exhaust his body so his brain would shut off and stop reminding him that it had been a week since Bucky had stood him up and cut off communication, and that this would be the second Sunday in a row that they didn’t spend together. He needed to stop wondering what Bucky was doing, and why he’d looked like crap according to Taylor. Did he miss Steve? Was he sick?

Steve also needed to stop thinking he saw Bucky everywhere he turned.

Steve ran another set of paths through Central Park, but when he reached the spot where he thought he’d seen Bucky, the apparition was still sitting in the same place. Steve’s pace carried him past the bench before he stopped. He needed to confront the mirage his brain was feeding him; he couldn’t spend the rest of his life seeing Bucky wherever he went.

The man’s head was bent so Steve couldn’t see his face, but his hair was unkempt, as if he hadn’t bothered combing it that morning. His clothes weren’t stained, but they were wrinkled to the point that Steve wondered if the man had slept in them. The man wasn’t dirty or gaunt with hunger or substance abuse, but his right hand was clenched on his leg and he was breathing hard.

“Hey,” Steve said gently, angry with himself for having ignored someone in need because he’d reminded Steve of Bucky.

The man’s head came up slowly at the sound of Steve’s voice and he looked at Steve with a dazed expression.

“Bucky?” Now that his head was raised Steve could see the tight lines around Bucky’s eyes, the sweat on his forehead. “Bucky, what’s wrong?”

Steve sat next to Bucky and reached for his hand. Bucky turned his hand over and squeezed Steve’s hand. “I was waiting for you.”

“I’m here, Buck.”

“I’m sorry about the other night. I know I fucked up.”

“You didn’t,” Steve said. “Bucky, are you sick?”

“Steve.” Bucky sounded lost.

“I’m right here, Bucky. I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky twisted on the bench so he could press his face against Steve’s shoulder. “I’m trying not to throw up.”

“That’s not encouraging,” Steve said, rubbing Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky managed a strained laugh, but quickly fell silent and just breathed against Steve.

Steve let the silence go on for a few minutes until Bucky’s breathing had slowed. Steve pressed his lips to the top of Bucky’s head. “Talk to me, Bucky, please.”

Bucky swallowed hard and sat up, but didn’t move away from Steve. He glanced around, as if seeing their surroundings for the first time. “I like the park,” he finally said. “It makes me forget I’m in the middle of Manhattan.”

Steve had opened his mouth to say something inane like, I like the park, too. Anything to keep Bucky here, talking. The words dried up at Bucky’s last comment. “Bucky, why don’t you like Manhattan?”

Bucky took a deep breath, but if anything he felt more tense afterwards. Steve unclasped their hands so he could put that arm around Bucky’s shoulders. He took Bucky’s hand into his other hand. Bucky took another deep breath, and another, the breaths shuddering out of him until eventually some of the tension bled out of his shoulders and he relaxed into Steve.

“I used to play baseball,” Bucky said. He raised his metal arm and clenched the fingers into a fist. “Before.”

“Oh god,” Steve said, horrified at his inadvertent insensitivity. “I took you to a baseball game.”

Bucky snorted, and it sounded so much like Bucky when he wasn’t falling apart. “The game was fine, Steve. I had fun.”

“But . . .”

Bucky wasn’t listening. He’d gotten a faraway look on his face. “Minor league. I was never gonna be good enough for the majors, but I loved it.”

Bucky paused, and visibly forced himself to continue. “We were in town for a home game. My sister wanted me to meet her for lunch. She worked, works, in Midtown.”

Bucky started to breathe fast again. Steve pressed his forehead against the side of Bucky’s face. “Breathe with me, Buck.” It took a few minutes for Bucky’s breathing to slow. “You don’t have to tell me any more, Bucky.”

“I’m not doing this for you,” Bucky said. “Well, not just you. Saturday . . . I tried so hard to get here.”

“Don’t worry about that now.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

“I was never mad at you, Bucky. I was hurt,” Steve admitted. “And worried. I thought maybe something had happened to you. Or you were ghosting me.”

Bucky barked a laugh. “Where did you learn about ghosting?”

“I know how to use the internet, Bucky,” Steve said archly.

“I wasn’t,” Bucky said. “Not on purpose, anyway.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Do you want to tell me about lunch with your sister?”

“Becca works at the TD Bank on Lexington. I met her at GRK Fresh Greek. She likes it because it’s close and they serve you quickly so you can get back to work before your lunch hour ends. She ordered a sesame salad. She was being careful of eating too many carbs during softball season.”

Bucky fell silent, so Steve gently nudged him. “What did you have?”

“The chicken souvlaki,” Bucky said, as if by rote. “With a pita and fries. I told her I didn’t care about carbs. Becca said . . .” Bucky swallowed hard, took a deep breath. “She said, you’ll be sorry.”

Bucky’s skin paled. He jerked away from Steve and fell off the bench. On his hands and knees Bucky gagged and heaved until he vomited up bile. Steve went to his knees beside Bucky, rubbed his back. When it seemed like Bucky was done Steve reached for the bottle of water he’d dropped when he recognized Bucky sitting on the bench.

It took Bucky a couple tries to close his fingers around the bottle. He rinsed his mouth, then took a drink. Bucky wiped his mouth on the hem of his shirt. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Steve said. He hugged Bucky awkwardly with them both on their knees. “Bucky, what happened next?” Steve dreaded the answer, given Bucky’s reaction to the bit of story he’d already told Steve, but he knew that Bucky needed to say it. Whatever it was, was eating him up inside.

“The Chitauri came,” Bucky said, his voice so low even Steve had trouble hearing it.

“Wha–?”

“We heard them before we saw them. The sound of their weapons, though we didn’t know what it was at the time, people screaming, buses crashing, buildings falling . . .”

Steve’s blood ran cold when he realized that Bucky had been there during the Battle of New York. He lived in Brooklyn, so of course it had been a possibility, but Steve had never even considered it. His gaze fell to Bucky’s metal arm. “Is that how you lost your arm?”

“Something hit the restaurant,” Bucky said. “I don’t know if it was a weapon or one of those flying leviathan creatures. Glass went flying and everyone inside started screaming. People ran for the door, clogged it, trampled over others to get out.”

Bucky swallowed hard and Steve didn’t rush him. Steve almost wanted to tell Bucky to stop, he didn’t want to know, but as Bucky had said, this wasn’t just for Steve.

“I got Becca out through the broken window. We were both bleeding from small cuts and Becca had a larger piece of glass stuck in her arm. I told her to leave it.”

“Yes,” Steve said.

“I got a woman and her baby out. She had to leave the stroller behind, but I tossed the diaper bag after her.”

“Of course you did, Bucky.”

“Becca was yelling at me to get out, but there were more people in there . . . The wall fell and we were all trapped. My arm was . . . I couldn’t move. I could hear people screaming, and crying, and moaning. I don’t know how long we were there before they dug us out.”

“Bucky, I’m so sorry that happened to you. It must’ve been . . . awful.”

“Says the man who was in the middle of the fighting,” Bucky said. He looked like he was trying to sound light, but it fell short.

“I’ve never been able to stand by and do nothing,” Steve said.

“Wikipedia got that much right,” Bucky said and fell silent. “I never meant to not tell you how I lost my arm,” he said eventually. “Telling you at the adoption event didn’t seem right, and then every time I tried to tell you after I couldn’t get the words out. The longer I waited the harder it got.”

“And then I asked you to come to a party at the Tower.”

“A ball,” Bucky said automatically. “I wanted to go. I tried . . .”

“It’s okay, Bucky,” Steve said. “If I’d know I never would’ve put you through that.”

Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand. “It’s not your fault.”

“Not your fault, either.”

Bucky huffed. “It kinda is. I’m sorry I didn’t text you to let you know I was okay. I was caught in one of those cycles of having waited too long.”

“Have you been to Manhattan at all since the Battle?”

“A couple times,” Bucky said. “For my arm. Stark made it, you know.”

“I didn’t know,” Steve said. “But I’m not surprised that it’s his work.”

“Do you like it less now?” Bucky said, only partly teasing.

“No,” Steve said, heat coloring his cheeks. “I like it just the same. But don’t tell Tony.”

“Hmm,” Bucky said. “He gave it to me. The arm. He didn’t charge me anything, not even the amount insurance would cover. And he does the maintenance on it for free, too. He paid for a lot of people’s medical care after the Battle.”

“Tony did that?” Steve said. “I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised. Tony is very prickly on the outside, but inside he’s very marshmallow-y. You can’t tell him I said that, either.”

“It’ll be our secret,” Bucky said.

“Thank you, Bucky,” Steve said, infusing his voice with the seriousness of Captain America. “What, um, what do you need now?”

“I didn’t think past getting here, to be honest.”

“Could you make it to the Tower? Or I could get us a hotel room right here. You look like you could use some rest.”

“I . . .” Bucky shuddered. “The Tower.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

“Let me make a call.”

One of Tony’s cars would be faster than getting them to the subway given the shape Bucky was in, and the tinted windows would keep Bucky from seeing that they were driving ever closer to the place where he’d been injured.

Steve put his phone away and helped Bucky back up onto the bench. He took Bucky’s hand in his again. “Did you talk to someone, after?”

Bucky gave Steve a look.

“I’m told it helps,” Steve said, not bothering to get defensive.

“For a little while, yeah. She diagnosed me with PTSD. I eventually stopped going because as long as I wasn’t in Manhattan it was easy to pretend that I was better.”

“But you did have to come to Manhattan,” Steve said. “For your arm.”

“Yeah. It was hard, but I made myself do it. Plus, Becca came with me for moral support. And also to talk me down when I freaked out.”

“That’s good. I’m glad she was there for you,” Steve said. He felt so helpless. “Bucky, is there anything I can do?”

“You’re doing it,” Bucky said. “Just be here.”

“I will, Buck, I’m happy to do that.”

“Telling you is a big relief,” Bucky admitted.

“I’m glad you did.”

The car arrived and Steve ushered Bucky into the backseat. Bucky relaxed even more when they were closed off from the sight of Central Park. Unsurprisingly, he tensed up the closer they got to the Tower.

“Close your eyes, Buck.”

Bucky closed his eyes and further hid his face against Steve.

“Tell me a story.”

“About what?” Bucky’s voice was muffled.

“Anything,” Steve said. “What’s your most embarrassing story? I’ll tell you mine about Peggy and Howard souffle-ing if you tell me yours.”

Bucky raised his head just enough to look into Steve’s face. “Souffle-ing?”

Steve mimed zipping his lips. “You first.”

Bucky laid his head back down. When he didn’t speak right away Steve thought he’d failed to give Bucky something else to think about. Eventually Bucky said, “One night when we were on the road I sleepwalked out of my hotel room and got locked out.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad, Buck.”

“I’d gone to sleep in the buff.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, yeah, that sounds embarrassing. What did you do?”

“I tried to find something to cover myself, but can you believe there wasn’t a single food service tray in the hallway so I could grab a napkin? And the fitness room was locked so I couldn’t get a towel. I finally found a phone and called the front desk. I waited for the night manager, kind of hiding around the corner from the elevators so I wasn’t just standing out there in the open. He came up the stairs instead. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he spoke from behind me.”

“That must’ve been a sight.”

“Night manager seemed to enjoy it.”

“I’m sure he did.”

Steve relaxed when the car pulled into the garage below the Tower. He got Bucky into the elevator. “Straight to my apartment, please, JARVIS.”

“Of course, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS said, and the elevator started to move. “Welcome back, Mr. Barnes.”

“Thanks, J,” Bucky said distractedly.

Steve raised his eyebrows. “J?”

“Everybody needs a nickname, Steve,” Bucky said, almost sounding like himself. Or pretending to.

Just as the doors opened outside his apartment, Steve remembered the large windows in the living room and bedroom that looked out over Midtown and asked JARVIS to close the blinds. The apartment was dark when they stepped inside. Steve let Bucky look around, wondering what he thought of the apartment that had been tastefully decorated by Pepper.

“There’s not much of you here,” Bucky said.

Aside from a photo of Steve and Peggy after they’d been reunited, a sketch of the Howling Commandos, a shelf of books, and a couple vinyl albums, there wasn’t. “This never felt like home,” Steve admitted.

“The Tower, or the 21st century?” Bucky said, astute as always.

“Both,” Steve said.

“And now?”

“I’m liking more about the 21st century every day.”

Bucky ducked his head and smiled. The smile faded quickly. “Still?”

“Still,” Steve said. “Always.”

Steve held Bucky until Bucky allowed himself to relax into Steve. He didn’t think Bucky had been eating or sleeping well for the past week. “Food or sleep first?”

Bucky yawned.

“I guess that’s my answer.”

Steve led Bucky to the bedroom and they both started to undress. Bucky twisted his shirt in his hands. “I should shower first.”

“You’re about to fall over,” Steve said.

“I’ll get your sheets dirty.”

“I don’t care about that, Bucky. I’m not going to shower, either. If it makes you feel better you can change the sheets later.”

Bucky gave Steve a half-hearted glare, but he finished undressing and slid between the sheets with Steve. Steve didn’t think he’d fall asleep – he only wanted to make sure that Bucky got some rest – but having Bucky in his arms was a balm to his soul and between one breath and the next Steve slipped under.

Steve woke a couple hours later, Bucky still sleeping peacefully in his arms. Steve stayed where he was, afraid that if he moved he’d wake Bucky. It didn’t hurt that Steve enjoyed the feeling of Bucky against him, especially after thinking that this might be lost to him. He couldn’t help letting his mind drift to what Bucky had been through, though.

Bucky jerked against Steve and whimpered in his sleep.

“It’s alright, Bucky,” Steve said. “You’re safe now.”

“Becca,” Bucky muttered. “Steve.”

Steve gently shook Bucky’s shoulder. “Wake up, Buck.”

Bucky reared up and Steve caught the metal arm before it impacted with his face. Bucky’s eyes were glazed and wild. “You’re okay, Bucky. You’re safe. You’re at the Tower with me, Steve.”

Steve realized belated that Bucky might not find mention of the Tower soothing, but Bucky deflated against Steve. “Shit,” he said. “Sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Buck.”

“I haven’t had a nightmare like that in a while.”

“I’m glad I was here to wake you up.”

“I almost hit you.”

“Did you mean to?”

“What? No, of course not! Jesus, Steve.”

“Cut yourself a break, Bucky. You just revisited a very traumatizing event.”

Bucky sighed. “Yeah, okay. I guess I should’ve expected it. I don’t want to hurt you, though.”

“You won’t.”

Neither one of them was going to get back to sleep so they got up and showered. Steve insisted on helping Bucky wash his back because he wasn’t sure Bucky was steady on his feet yet. Or he didn’t want to let Bucky out of his sight, take your pick.

Steve let Bucky borrow a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt that were only a little bit too big on him. (“If you wore something that actually fit instead of being two sizes too small, I’d be swimming in these,” Bucky said.) He started a load of laundry and made lunch for them both in the kitchen in his apartment.

After they’d eaten their fill of chicken salad sandwiches on freshly baked wheat bread and loaded with lettuce and tomato, Bucky and Steve sat on the couch and snuggled while ‘Pretty Woman’ played in the background.

JARVIS interrupted them while they were dozing. “I’m sorry to bother you, Captain Rogers, but Mr. Stark has been trying to reach you for the past few minutes.”

Which probably felt like hours to Tony. “What are the chances that he’ll stop if you tell him I’m busy?”

“The chances are high that he would make a personal appearance to see why you were too busy to answer his call,” JARVIS said dryly.

Steve groaned. “You’re right. Put him through, please.”

“Very well, Captain Rogers.”

“Steve!”

“Tony,” Steve said. “What do you want?”

“Why aren’t you answering your phone?” Tony demanded.

“I left it in the bedroom when I got back from my run,” Steve said, which wasn’t a lie.

“And you couldn’t get up and get it?”

“Battery must’ve died,” Steve said, not even trying to sound believable. He tapped the top of Bucky’s head when he gave a soft snort. They’d both heard the buzz, but had ignored it.

“Stark phone batteries don’t just die . . .”

“What do you want, Tony?” Steve repeated.

“I want you to come down here and be my ping pong partner against Katniss and the lovely Natasha.”

“Since when do you have a ping pong table?”

“Since this morning! So stop moping and come down here.”

“I’m not moping,” Steve said.

“You are too moping. You’ve been moping for a week.”

“No I haven’t,” Steve said weakly, not looking at Bucky.

“At least it’s been four days since you tried to get yourself killed.”

“I didn’t . . .” Steve cut off speaking to grab Bucky’s fingers out of his side.

“Don’t think we’re not talking about the spiders,” Bucky hissed.

“Get Bruce!” Steve suggested.

“Clint surprised him with a ball to the head and the other guy almost came out so Bruce made a strategic retreat to the bleacher section.”

“What about Pepper?”

“Some girls’ thing, getting her nails done.”

“Darcy?”

“What part of ‘girls’ thing’ didn’t you get?”

“But not Natasha?”

“Apparently she likes to color her nails with the blood of her enemies,” Tony said.

“That sounds about right.” Steve raised a questioning eyebrow to Bucky and spoke softly. “You already know Clint and Tony; wanna meet Bruce and Natasha?”

Bucky’s eyes were wide. “What could go wrong?”

Steve grinned at Bucky and spoke loud enough for Tony to hear him. “Alright, I’ll be there.”

“Why are you grinning like a loon,” Bucky said when JARVIS cut the connection.

“Because I get to show you off.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I’m not exactly at my best.”

“Even at less than your best you take my breath away, Bucky.”

“Sap.”

~*~

“It’s about time,” Tony said when the elevator deposited Steve and Bucky on the communal floor. His eyes went comically wide when he spotted Bucky. “Barnes. Your appointment isn’t today. Is it? JARVIS?”

“Bucky’s with me,” Steve said, his hand sliding possessively across Bucky’s shoulder.

“Wha–?” Tony’s gaze caught on the way Steve touched Bucky. “Wait. Are you Cap’s squeeze?”

“His squeeze?” Bucky said.

“Tony,” Steve said, more resigned than annoyed because Tony teasing him about this wasn’t unexpected.

Tony ignored both of them, his gaze taking in Bucky’s outfit. “Why are you wearing Cap’s clothes?”

Only Steve could see the way Bucky’s jaw clenched, but he managed to say, “Because mine were dirty,” and wink at Tony.

Tony covered his eyes. “I didn’t need that image in my head. I thought you liked girls?” he said plaintively.

“I do like girls,” Steve said.

“But . . . how long have you liked boys?”

“Always,” Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s called ‘bisexuality’, Tony.”

Tony gaped at Steve. “You’re telling _me_ about bisexuality?”

“You seemed to be having trouble grasping the concept,” Steve said, biting back a grin. He considered it a major coup when he could get under Tony’s skin instead of the other way around.

“I have no problem grasping the concept of bisexuality,” Tony said. “What I’m having trouble grasping is the concept of _you_ , Mr. American Flag and Apple Pie, being bisexual.”

Either Clint and Natasha had apparently had enough of Steve and Tony’s back and forth, or they were just tired of waiting for their opponents to get with the program. Clint came over to Bucky and extended his hand.

“Good to see you again, Bucky.”

“You, too, Clint.” Bucky took Clint’s hand. “How’s Lucky doing?”

“Lucky’s getting fat from eating too much pizza.”

“Wait, you knew?”

“One thing I’ve learned from working at PetSmart,” Bucky said, “is that you have to be smarter than the dog, Clint.”

“Ouch,” Clint said to Bucky, then to Tony, “Yes, I knew. Now, are we going to play, or discuss Steve’s sex life all afternoon?”

Darcy screeched from behind Steve. “Bucky!” She ran over and gave him a hug which Bucky accepted with good grace even though he had only met Darcy once back in July.

“You knew, too? Did anyone else know?” Tony said, sounding betrayed.

Natasha raised her hand.

“Of course you knew,” Tony said.

“Knew what?” Pepper said patiently, ignoring Tony’s slide toward a tantrum.

“About Steve and his boyfriend James.” Tony threw out his arms dramatically.

“I didn’t know that Steve was dating James,” Pepper said, “but I’m happy for both of them.”

“Yes, okay, sure . . .”

Bruce clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Congrats.” He extended his hand to Bucky. “Hi, I’m Bruce.”

“Hi.” Bucky’s eyes were wide when he shook hands with the Hulk’s mild-mannered alter ego.

“Why is everyone taking this so well?”

Jane let Darcy introduce her to Bucky and they also shook hands. Bucky complimented the silver nail polish she sported. “Thank you. It reminds me of Thor.”

Bucky looked at Steve when Darcy and Jane walked away and mouthed, Thor?

Pepper kissed Steve’s cheek, then Bucky’s. She gave Tony an expectant look.

“Whatever,” Tony said. “Let’s play ping pong.”

~*~

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tony said.

Steve and Tony had lost handily to Clint and Natasha, and they’d started rotating players in. Steve and Bucky had lost just as handily, and now Bucky and Darcy were making an attempt to take down the reigning champs, as Clint had dubbed him and Natasha.

Steve joined Pepper, Bruce, Tony and Jane (who was waiting her turn) on the couches to watch the match. Steve turned his head now to look at Tony, who’d used the excuse of bringing him a drink to move closer. Steve took the drink. but didn’t sip from it.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Tony, but our relationship consists of banter where you make digs intended to get under my skin and I try to fend them off or ignore them. It’s not conducive to sharing personal stuff.”

Tony looked bothered by Steve’s assessment, but he didn’t deny it. “That’s not all.”

“No,” Steve said. That wasn’t all – Steve hadn’t wanted to jinx his and Bucky’s growing relationship – but it was a large part of it.

“Next time . . . ?”

“I hope there’s not a ‘next time’,” Steve said.

“Well, no, but . . .”

“You know you’re not the only person I didn’t tell, right? Darcy only knew because she was at the Adoption Event where I met Bucky, and Clint because I kind of spilled the beans after we scheduled our first date.”

“Okay, but, if you decide to get married or something . . .”

“I’ll tell you, Tony.”

Tony nodded and returned to sit between Pepper and Bruce. Pepper gave Steve a raised eyebrow and he nodded back before turning his attention back to the game.

When the match was over (Natasha and Clint the victors again), Jane took her place at the table next to Darcy. Bucky sat on the couch next to Steve. Steve felt eyes on him but he ignored them to make room for Bucky under his arm and place a kiss on the side of Bucky’s head.

Bucky curled into Steve and placed his arm around Steve’s middle. Steve laid his hand over Bucky’s arm. “Everything okay?”

Bucky nodded.

“A little overwhelming?”

Bucky nodded again. “In a good way.”

“We can leave if it gets to be too much.”

Bucky raised his head. “Thanks. I’ll let you know.”

“Okay, Buck.”

Somehow, Jane and Darcy managed to beat Clint and Natasha. Tony ordered what he called a ‘celebratory dinner’. There was enough food to feed an army, but they made most of it disappear. While they were cleaning up, Tony pulled Bucky aside. Steve pretended not to listen in.

“Listen, Barnes, since you’re already here, why don’t I take a look at your arm so you don’t have to come back.” He glanced at Steve. “Unless you want to.”

“You don’t have to do that Mr. St–, Tony.”

“I know I don’t, but I’ve got the time, and I wouldn’t have offered if I minded.”

“Okay,” Bucky said. “If you don’t mind. Thanks.”

“Sure,” Tony said. “Come on.”

Bucky glanced at Steve. “You coming?”

Steve stopped trying to look like he was paying attention to the fork he was drying. “If you want me to, Buck.”

“You should see how it works, since you like it so much.”

“Oh, no, Bucky . . .”

“What?” Tony said gleefully.

“Steve loves my robot arm,” Bucky told Tony. “He thinks it’s cool.”

“Well. Of course he does.” Tony preened. “Steve’s got good taste.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, looking at Bucky. “I do.”

Bucky smiled at Steve. He followed Tony to the elevator. “Plus, I wanted to ask you some questions about the arm. Like, say I accidentally get lube on the metal, will it affect the way the plates work?”

“Jesus christ,” Tony said, aghast, “what have you been doing with my arm? Wait, no! Don’t answer that!”

Steve pretended his face wasn’t on fire and followed them to the elevator. Bucky smirked a Steve and took his hand into Bucky’s metal one. Behind them the room was suspiciously silent, except for Clint’s snorts of laugher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Central Park](http://www.centralparknyc.org/)
> 
> 2\. [GRK Fresh Greek](http://grkfresh.com/)
> 
> 3\. If Bucky's naked sleepwalking story sounded familiar, that's because [I stole it from Kris Allen](http://www.mtv.com/news/1650376/kris-allen-recalls-naked-sleepwalking-adventure/)


	10. Next Steps & Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of what the future holds for Steve and Bucky.

Monday morning Steve and Bucky took a car to Brooklyn and got dropped off outside a Bravo Supermarket. Bucky muttered about having to purchase two new reusable canvas bags since his own were at home. Bucky stocked up on deli meat, bread, fresh fruit and vegetables.

“Are you staying for supper?” Bucky kept his gaze on the meat cooler as he waited for Steve’s answer.

“If you want me to, Bucky, I’d like that,” Steve said over the lump in his throat.

Bucky nodded and placed two steaks into the basket. He side-eyed Steve and added a third. Steve laughed, earning an answering smile from Bucky.

Bucky chatted with the cashier, a grandmother by the name of Rosa who had endeared herself to Steve the first time they’d met when she told him to be good to Bucky. Steve took both bags while Bucky paid and refused to hand one over when they got outside.

“What if I want to hold your hand?”

Steve immediately transferred both bags to one hand and took Bucky’s hand in the one he’d freed up.

Bucky sighed. “Steve.”

“I never got to carry your books in school,” Steve said.

“So you’re gonna carry my groceries?”

“Yes.”

Bucky shook his head but didn’t argue further. He let Steve hold his hand until he needed it to unlock the door to his apartment. They’d barely made it to the kitchen when there was a loud knock on the door. Steve gave Bucky a look. He was sorting the groceries, so Steve offered to get the door.

“Yeah, thanks,” Bucky said absently.

Steve left Bucky putting the steak in the fridge and went to the door. The person on the other side began speaking the moment Steve turned the door knob.

“Where the hell have you . . . been?” Kathleen Barnes stared at Steve, her jaw dropped. She recovered and threw herself at Steve, hugging him.

Steve grasped her in one arm and pushed the door shut. “Um, hi?”

Steve turned around and gave Bucky, who’d come around the island, a confused look. “Katy’s here.”

“I see that,” Bucky said.

Katy pushed away from Steve and turned on Bucky. “What the hell, James Buchanan Barnes? We were worried about you!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?”

“Are you kidding me right now?”

“School’s important, Katy.” Bucky went back to putting away the groceries.

“I went to my eight o’clock class and I don’t have another until one forty-five.”

“Don’t you usually go to the library between classes?”

“You know way too much about my class schedule.” Katy jammed her hands on her hips and demanded, “Where were you?”

Bucky took a deep breath. “I went to see Steve.”

“Good. Wait. You went to Manhattan alone?” Katy barely waited for Bucky’s nod before she went to him and placed her hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “I think I am. I mean, it was hard as hell, but . . .” Bucky shrugged. “I made it out the other end. With Steve’s help.”

“Good,” Katy said. “Good.” She held out her hand to Steve. “Phone.”

Steve obediently handed over his cell.

“Katy, what are you doing?” Bucky said warily.

“I’m putting my number in Steve’s contacts,” Katy said as she typed on the screen. “And Becca’s, and Shannon’s, and mom’s.”

Bucky groaned.

“So we can all call you when Bucky’s acting stupid again.”

“Hey,” Bucky said.

“Not about Manhattan,” Katy said, “but about telling Steve what was wrong.”

Bucky looked away from Katy and rearranged the fruit in the bowl. Steve took his eyes off Bucky when Katy handed him back his phone.

“I texted everyone so we all have your number, too,” Katy said. She hugged Bucky. “Now that I know you’re safe, I gotta get to the library before I’m late for my study group.”

Bucky gave Katy a look, but hugged her back. “You didn’t have to come.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Katy said. “Glad you’re back,” she said as she breezed past Steve.

“Me, too,” Steve said, but he was talking to the closed door. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “It’s like having four mothers.”

“They love you.”

“I know.” Bucky closed the distance between them. He slipped his arms around Steve and rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re back, too.”

“Me, too, Buck. Me, too.”

~*~

“Do you see a therapist?” Steve asked Tony as he whisked eggs for French toast.

Tony gave Steve a look over the rim of his coffee cup. “Do I look like I need one?”

“After everything you’ve been through, you’d be crazy not to.”

“Is this for Barnes?”

Steve took a deep breath in preparation for answering. “No.”

“You?”

Steve gave Tony a look. “Is that so surprising?”

“Given that you refused counseling after you thawed out, and again after the Battle of New York, and again after you let yourself get bitten, stabbed, and acid burned by a cluster of giant spiders, yes.”

“How do you know that?”

Tony raised his eyebrows at Steve as if to say, you really need to ask that?

“I’m surprised you’re not on mandatory therapy,” Steve said.

“The good thing about being an independent consultant is that there’s no one to force you to go to counseling. And SHIELD needs people willing to fight no matter the cost. What well-adjusted person is going to do that?” Tony said cynically. He poured another cup of coffee and turned to leave.

“I thought you wanted French toast,” Steve said.

“I’m not hungry anymore.” Tony stopped before he got too far, but he kept his back to Steve. “Call Pepper. She’s got a list of names.”

~*~

Bucky had been impressed with the rock wall in the training room when Steve showed it to him, so Wednesday evening they went to Brooklyn Boulders Gowanus on Degraw Street. After a quick shower they went to Bogota Latin Bistro for dinner.

Back at Bucky’s place, Steve kissed Bucky tenderly and held him gently. “Is this okay, Buck?” They hadn’t done more than hold each other since Steve found Bucky sitting on that bench in Central Park.

“It’s more than okay,” Bucky assured Steve.

Steve laid Bucky out on the bed and tried to show him with his hands and mouth just how much Bucky meant to him. After, lying with Bucky in his arms, Steve said, “I asked Pepper for the name of a therapist.”

Bucky stiffened. “For me?”

“For me,” Steve said. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Buck, but I’m a little bit screwed up.”

“Welcome to the club, pal.”

~*~

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

Steve paid extra attention to sticking his fork into the grape tomato before it could roll away again. “I don’t have any firm plans,” he said, fighting to keep his tone casual. “Last year we all got together at the Tower, but that was mainly because none of us really have any other friends or family.”

“Would you like to do Thanksgiving with the Barnes family this year? Ma puts on quite a spread. And we all help.”

“If you’re sure, Bucky, I’d like that.”

“I’m sure.”

Bucky laid his hand between them on the table, palm up. Steve laid his hand over Bucky’s.

“Thanks, Buck.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Bucky said. “You’re going to have to bring something. And they’re going to ask you really embarrassing questions.”

“What does it say that I’m more worried about contributing to the meal than answering embarrassing questions?”

“It says you have your priorities straight.”

Steve took out his notebook and wrote _traditional thanksgiving dinner_. Bucky grinned, but didn’t otherwise tease Steve.

“What do you make?”

“The stuffing,” Bucky said. “When we were growing up, ma taught us how to do each dish, and we eventually had our favorites. Becca makes a really good sweet potato casserole. Kathleen helps ma with the pies. Shannon makes the green bean casserole and cabbage salad. Ma makes the turkey and the mashed potatoes. Dad makes the cranberry sauce and the gravy. Ma says every year that they bought the triplex so they could have three ovens on the holidays.”

“That sounds like you’ve got everything covered,” Steve said. He’d have to do some research to figure out what to bring. Or maybe ask Pepper.

Getting an idea from Pepper – flowers for the hostess and a nice bottle of wine – was easier than breaking the news to Tony that he wouldn’t be joining them for Thanksgiving in the Tower this year.

~*~

“What did you mean when you said that working at PetSmart was Plan D?”

Bucky let his head fall against the back of the couch.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay.”

Steve paused the movie they’d been watching. “I presume Plan A was baseball?”

“Yeah. After the, uh, accident I considered going back to school to get my masters or maybe coaching. But I wasn’t ready. Not then. And now I feel like I’m in a rut, afraid to try something else in case it turns out that I’m still not ready.”

Steve took Bucky’s hand. “You ever think about trying baseball again?”

“No,” Bucky said. “I don’t know if they’d let me play with this.” He raised his metal arm and curled his fingers. “Even if they did, I’m out of playing shape. I don’t even know if I can hit or use a glove.”

“Only one way to know,” Steve said.

“Why’d you want to know?” Bucky said, changing the subject.

“Oh.” Steve ducked his head. “I’ve been thinking about something you said a while back, about getting a hobby or something to fill my time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m thinking about taking some art classes.”

“Steve, that’s wonderful!”

Bucky’s enthusiasm fueled Steve’s own. He smiled. “You really think so?”

“I really do. We should celebrate.”

“I haven’t signed up yet,” Steve said. “Or been accepted.”

“Oh, well,” Bucky said. “If you don’t want to celebrate . . .”

“I guess it _is_ a momentous decision . . . ,” Steve said.

Bucky climbed onto Steve’s lap. “That’s my guy.”

~*~

“What’s this?”

Steve blushed. “Just open it.”

Bucky carefully pulled the paper away from the gift, driving Steve nuts with anticipation.

“Steve,” Bucky said reverently when he’d revealed the frame.

“I know it’s silly . . .”

Steve had drawn a larger version of the sketch he’d made of Bucky with the flower crown, and surrounded him with more adoring woodland creatures. He’d signed and dated it.

“It’s wonderful,” Bucky said. “My first Steve Rogers original. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Buck. I’m glad you like it.”

Bucky hugged Steve, kissed him. “I really do.”

~*~

“What team did you play for?” Steve said.

“Staten Island Stars,” Bucky said. “I asked Stark once if I could paint a red star on my new arm.”

“What did Tony say?”

“He said it’s my arm, I can do what I want with it.” Bucky watched Steve. “Why did you want to know?”

Steve didn’t answer, instead typed _James Barnes Staten Island Stars_ into the search engine on his phone. “Bucky,” Steve said in awe when the results came up.

Bucky leaned over to look at the screen. “Oh, yeah. I had a certain image when I played.”

“Jesus christ,” Steve said.

Bucky gave Steve a thoughtful look. “You like that?”

Steve fidgeted on the couch. He glanced at the pictures of Bucky with stubble and hair long enough to be pulled back into what he’d seen the internet refer to as a ‘man bun’. “Um, yeah, I . . .”

“Well, well, well,” Bucky said. “Steve Rogers likes bad boys?”

Steve pulled Bucky close. “Only if it’s you, Buck.”

“Good answer, Steve,” Bucky said, leaning into Steve’s kiss.

~*~*~*~

Six months later Steve stepped into Prospect Park. He walked the familiar path to the baseball fields in Long Meadow and found the field where a co-ed game of softball was being played. He stopped next to Clint and Lucky and watched Bucky field a ball at second and throw it to Becca at first. Steve felt a surge of pride when they got the runner out.

2014 had been an amazing year so far, and it was on track to being even better. Steve had started art classes in January. Bucky still worked at PetSmart, but he’d signed up for an evening class to work towards his teaching certificate. Bucky had added batting practice to his workouts, and when he realized he could hit well enough to play for fun he’d agreed to join the co-ed softball league with Becca.

In April Steve had found a loft in an old warehouse in Williamsburg that had great light for painting and a view of the East River. He’d asked Bucky to move in with him, and Bucky had accepted, though he was insisting on waiting until they’d been dating for a year. Steve was impatiently looking forward to that.

Bucky jogged over to Steve when his team headed for the dugout, drawing Steve out of his reverie. He kissed Steve, his stubble tickling Steve’s face.

“Hi.” Steve pushed a strand of hair that had fallen out of the elastic behind Bucky’s ear.

“Hi, yourself,” Bucky said. “Don’t keep me in suspense. How’d the meeting go?”

Steve had just come from a meeting with Pepper, his Pepper-approved lawyer, and a publisher. He grinned. “The meeting went great.”

Bucky hugged Steve. “I knew it would. They’d have been nuts to say no.”

“I know you did, Buck.” Bucky was the first person Steve told about his plan, and the first to offer his support.

Steve had finally come up with an idea for something meaningful he could do with his art – put together a book of sketches of actual veterans that would bring more attention to the plight of veterans in the United States and raise money for therapy, treatment, and shelter. Steve had already lined up a dozen veterans who were willing to sit for a sketch, and he hoped that once word got out others would also be willing. All he’d needed was someone to publish the book, and Pepper had helped him with that.

“We’ll have to celebrate after the game.”

“Sounds good,” Steve said. “What did you have in mind?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Bucky said with faked casualness. “Ice cream?”

“I was hoping for something else,” Steve said.

“I am standing right here,” Clint said.

“No one says you have to eat it out of the dish,” Bucky said, ignoring Clint. He gave Steve a quick kiss before jogging over to the dugout at Becca’s call.

“Congrats,” Clint said.

“Thanks.”

“You know I meant on the art book not the celebration, right?”

Steve smiled and watched Bucky talk to his teammates. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. [Brooklyn Boulders Gowanus](https://brooklynboulders.com/gowanus/)
> 
> 2\. [Bogota Latin Bistro](https://www.bogotabistro.com/)


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